Monday, March 30, 2009

55 Word Fiction

"Laundry Wale Uncle"

The old man from the laundry.
Lives with his son.
Longs for his village, his friends ...his life.
Hope keeps him alive.
Everytime we meet, he tells me he is leaving in a month.
6 years since we first met.
He died today .
In a foreign land.
Of a broken heart.


Indian Home Maker said...

I like!
This is so different from mine!
Good enough to disappoint that he did to go to his village...

These are addictive, keep them coming!

Renu said...

very nice, complete comprehensible story, amazing how you people can do it:)

Chrysalis said...

Thanks IHM and Renu

This is more truth and less fiction. Maybe will write at lenght about my "laundry wale Uncle " someday. Appreciate your feedback. Thanks a ton.

rupa said...

OMG is this the same Uncle who used to take care of his grand sons when his DIL was at office. He always wanted to go back to his country.

I scribble here said...

man, u guys are good at this.. came here from D's blog, and this was good

D said...

So poignant! I like too.

Anonymous said...

This is one of the most beautiful stories, I have ever read. Sad, but true.

Chrysalis said...

I scribble here: Thanks for dropping by and thanks again for ur commentt.

D: Thank you. Since its part true ...the does make me sad.

Chhiragchamoli: Hey welcome and thanks for the visit.And yes,thanks again for your very generous comment.

Piper .. said...

excellent! what a touching post this is! All the more because he did exist,didnt he (from one of the comments)..

Chrysalis said...


He does exist. And he talks of nothing else. Going home that is. He is alive Thank God. Dead is the fiction part.

Nisha said...

very nice n full of emotions. i guess thats the trick to these 55-word stories.keep it up!

Chrysalis said...

Nisha: Thanks.

Poonam J said...

Nice....sad we all keep postponing what we want the most..and time and life goes by.Nice 55er.

Chrysalis said...

Poonam J

Thanks. Yes and we do not enjoy the small moments, though in this case the 'Uncle' had no control over his destiny. He had no choice since he was dependent on his son's family.