Gain two... Lose Some

My friend Piper's post "Erma Bombeck - On Motherhood", inspired me to think of all that I have gained and lost post domesticity and motherhood especially. A mother of 2 delightful and lovely children I will not write about all that I have gained because I will not be able to do justice to it and most importantly I learn everyday, how valuable is the treasure bestowed upon me.

On a humorous but honest note I can enumerate the various things that I have given up and habits I have picked up in the process:

1. I do not remember the last time I DID not have an audience when I used the restroom. This audience of mine either gleefully monitors my every move or hurries me on by insisting that they need to use the facility too. And this happens with such regularity that the simple act of attending to natures call, demands prior strategy and a game plan of sorts.

2. Yes I hide my chocolates ...I hide it from my children because I crave for that Ferrero Rocher and I want to eat that..one whole piece of chocolate ..without having to share it with anyone ...my children bring out the mean child in me at times. Its been ages when I or someone bought chocolates for me.

3. I don't remember what it feels to be footloose and fancy free...nothing overly dramatic but just the feel of a great handbag in one's arm minus all the hoola hoo of an over sized cumbersome diaper bag. Or as of now a chic over sized handbag which contains things I need and not a slightly darkening and limp banana, a toy car, a fake plastic cell phone or an ear piercing whistle, a water gun which is most likely to be aimed at and squirted at my eye.

4. I do my own little angry dance every time I am asked to leave my plateful of surprisingly hot food to wash wipe or clean some one's behind. Potty time for the little people is always when its eating time for mommy.

5. Hubby darling and I have been frozen into inaction during our snatched moments of intimacy by a wailing baby or a sleep talking toddler. In retrospect it is very funny but sometimes when such moments are far and in between...to laugh it off has been hard to do.

6. I don't know what it is to talk to an adult be it my husband or a visiting girlfriend without some sort of a background noise or a little person using devious methods to claim everyone's attention. One of the methods commonly used is attempts (failed one , thankfully) to jump out of the third floor window screaming "Mommy ! Look! I can fly !!!"

7. Eating out without worrying about what others think about your child rearing style is a state of mind, alien to me. Constant fear that your 'intent on running around in circles 'child might collide headfirst with a tray laden waiter can act as a very good appetite dampener.

8. I want to do what I love the most...read a good book , something other than Dr. Suess and Bernstein Bears. My favorite fantasy these days revolves around a comfy chair,a good book and no one else around to disturb this equilibrium.

8. My days are generously sprinkled with embarrassing moments...my child ...decides to dig his nose and with a frenzy as soon as I turn around to introduce him to the elderly but prim librarian, starts eating an unwashed cucumber/tomato/okra which is kept in the shopping cart as if he/she is starved at home, wants to stay for extended periods of time and at times even live with people other than his/her parents, has at times pulled his/her pants down and run around in glee as if we, the parents encourage such behavior.

I can easily write a sequel or two or more to this piece. But my two have certainly taught me to put on a brave face, develop a thick skin and take everything with a pinch of salt and humor.