I resume writing after almost a month and half. Have been busy with the 'idea' of moving continents and all things related. We are finishing the do-able, must-sees ...all very touristy I must say. That is the easy and the fun part. The not so fun part is emotionally and mentally preparing ourselves to say good-bye to a place we called home for the last seven years. It becomes even more difficult because I came here a girl and am leaving a woman. I became a housewife, a mother here. I also re-discovered my faith and evolved some more and faster.
We prepare ourselves to cut off those ties that bind us to this place, to go back to the ties that tug at us. I prepare myself to say adieu to all those whom I reluctantly be-friended and more reluctantly leave behind. The smells, the sounds (or rather the lack of it as it is in typical suburban America versus India), the food will be missed. I will miss the old Indian gentleman whom I would chat with in the laundry who would pine for his village and his friends. I will miss the African American woman who smoked like a chimney and whom we lovingly and secretly called 'Chimney'. How similar and yet how different we were. I will never forget the way she stuck up to us after an argument with a particularly racist white man for some petty reason. She told me "Do not take that nonsense" and told me stories of her childhood in rural Mississippi.
I will miss all those who stood by and even those who did not because they all taught me a lesson or two. I thank the technological advancements for once, knowing it will allow me to stay in touch more easily than ever before.
But yet as I prepared myself to fly back home, I was jolted by the news that I might be going somewhere else. Hubby dearest might have to go to UK for a couple of years. I still am not sure if that will happen and will not be till I am actually there. But the surprise did lead to a lot of sighing and thinking and feeling blue. I am a tad bit tired of living as if I might have to move in the next 2 months. I have lived without fancy curtain or cookware and cutlery. I have learnt to be happy and have at times gotten my way and hung up elaborate Madhubani paitings not caring if I lived here for a day or a year. I have sometimes given in to the practical problems of baggage and shipping etc. And sometimes thrown all caution to the wind. I do have some regrets and mostly that I would have be-friended some people earlier than I did for they are such wonderful people and I would have loved to know them longer.
But yet another move, to yet another country. I gave up on my professional aspirations the minute I became a mom and I have never regretted it. But the resolve to follow my husband around and be a family sometimes has had me floundering. I just saw Julie and Julia and loved it. I loved the story, Merryl Streep and Amy Adams. I could relate to their stories (not the cooking necessarily) and loved their married life. Great husbands, great families with lots of love to go around. I could also echo the question Merryl asks in the movie "Where is home?" and am trying to understand the answer her husband gives "Wherever we are"
One thing that I learnt from the movie was that a lack of a sense of purpose and a sense of joy could arise with or without the kind of nomadic lifestyle I live. It could arise with or without the lack of a rewarding career. As long as we were togther and happy and in love with ourselves, each other , life and God we could figure it out.
The power to make a situation sunny and positive lay within me. The movie taught me that. My husband says it more often than I would like to hear. My scriptures say it. I am a part of the supreme whole and hence I am whole...complete and powerful.
So why be in doldrums at all. My sense of purpose is for me to define. Why challenge the master plan. Maybe I was born to roam.
Travel, absorb, learn, integrate, assimilate........there is so much to be seen and there is so much to be learnt. I am eager to return to my land, my people and most importantly give back. And I pray that I will do that soon. In the meantime I will give back to my family, and communities wherever I am. Period.
Hence pine I will no more. Or at least try very hard not to. Digging roots at the moment is very attractive and safe but I shall not tremble at the idea of taking flight and soaring to new heights. God grant me the courage and show me the way.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
But You are a Mommy !!!
This is for all those self glorified/magnified/inflicted moments spent in doubt, dilemma, and misery. The moments wasted wallowing in self-pity. Moments used for making others lives around me painful too. Those moments throughout the years at various stages in life wondering....who am I, what is my purpose in life right now, what am I supposed to do or rather what is the right thing for me to do, what role do I play right now. Moments feeling unfulfilled and dis-satisfied.
And not so surprisingly the varied roles I have identified for myself have been determined by how its going to be seen and rated by the society around me. Most of the times my gut feeling and my true inner voice is muffled, strangled into silence, by all the noise outside.
I increasingly have been thinking that life would have been simpler was I born in times when the 4 ashrams were the order of the day. No room for confusion whatsoever. Each one has their Dharma/duty to fulfill according to their age. Brahmacharya ...a student's focus would only be in inculcating good values and learning, not worrying if their course will result in an accepted, well paying career. As a Grihasth, the family being the primary focus removes all debates about whether we should live in separate cities so that the pursuit of material and monetary success which we have fooled ourselves into thinking is much more than that....self esteem, independence, a sense of usefulness etc etc.
It also removes the self justified 'practical' reasons for which we choose a certain way of life at the cost of our people and parents.
Vaanprastha and the clearly defined roles would result in peace at home. In laws and parents would realize that undue interference is not what they should be indulging in at this stage of life, Instead the quest for true knowledge which anyways should have been a continuous effort in life, should pick up speed now. It is the time when reins should be handed over to the generation next.
Sanyaas prepares us for the inevitable...death. Gradually loosening the ties which bind us and cause us grief at the thought of leaving this particular human form.
Since I am not born into such times, I am your typical person, beset with confusion and self inflicted pain over what is my role and purpose in life...at times. It gets only better as I know and hear more of our brilliant texts. But it is slow though a steady process.
In the meantime my innocent 3 year old who is sans these issues in life is a big help. Only recently I was telling my 5 year old how mommy wanted to become a Doctor once upon a time. My 3 year old, upon hearing this immediately said "You cannot be a Doctor". My suspicious mind thought there was some gender stereotyping going on here and I explained to her that "Girls can be doctors, I could be a Doctor". Adamantly and emphatically she declared "NO!, But you are a Mommy".
Thanks my little one for reminding me of my primary role as of now and its supreme importance. For her I am a Mommy, and the rest is inconsequential.
And not so surprisingly the varied roles I have identified for myself have been determined by how its going to be seen and rated by the society around me. Most of the times my gut feeling and my true inner voice is muffled, strangled into silence, by all the noise outside.
I increasingly have been thinking that life would have been simpler was I born in times when the 4 ashrams were the order of the day. No room for confusion whatsoever. Each one has their Dharma/duty to fulfill according to their age. Brahmacharya ...a student's focus would only be in inculcating good values and learning, not worrying if their course will result in an accepted, well paying career. As a Grihasth, the family being the primary focus removes all debates about whether we should live in separate cities so that the pursuit of material and monetary success which we have fooled ourselves into thinking is much more than that....self esteem, independence, a sense of usefulness etc etc.
It also removes the self justified 'practical' reasons for which we choose a certain way of life at the cost of our people and parents.
Vaanprastha and the clearly defined roles would result in peace at home. In laws and parents would realize that undue interference is not what they should be indulging in at this stage of life, Instead the quest for true knowledge which anyways should have been a continuous effort in life, should pick up speed now. It is the time when reins should be handed over to the generation next.
Sanyaas prepares us for the inevitable...death. Gradually loosening the ties which bind us and cause us grief at the thought of leaving this particular human form.
Since I am not born into such times, I am your typical person, beset with confusion and self inflicted pain over what is my role and purpose in life...at times. It gets only better as I know and hear more of our brilliant texts. But it is slow though a steady process.
In the meantime my innocent 3 year old who is sans these issues in life is a big help. Only recently I was telling my 5 year old how mommy wanted to become a Doctor once upon a time. My 3 year old, upon hearing this immediately said "You cannot be a Doctor". My suspicious mind thought there was some gender stereotyping going on here and I explained to her that "Girls can be doctors, I could be a Doctor". Adamantly and emphatically she declared "NO!, But you are a Mommy".
Thanks my little one for reminding me of my primary role as of now and its supreme importance. For her I am a Mommy, and the rest is inconsequential.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
For The 'Mother' in the Motherland
How filmi is the 'Mother' in the 'Motherland'? I would say its a lot. When we find the suffix Mata overly dramatic, Janamabhoomi just plain rhetoric, its time for some hard, cold honesty.
As the time approaches for us to return to our home country, I think I have heard it all. From plain selfishness, to hurtful statements meant to make the speaker feel better about their own decision to outright denial. This particular onslaught has left me hopping mad, frustrated and really, really scared for the future of good solid, plain old fashioned, value system.
Of course I am not expecting the pick-up-the-mud-and-rub-it-on-your-forehead-teary-eyed type of fervour. But some feelings which surpass the "my vote is for whoever gives me better roti-kapda-aur makaan" is asking for too much, is it?
Shifting your loyalties and allegiance because you expect a better deal in terms of lifestyle, education, money, success material and otherwise is a little surprising to me (to put it mildly).
I am aware of political asylum seekers, people who have been forced to migrate to avoid abject poverty. Victims of natural disasters, war and terrorism. But the profiles of those who I have been talking to or rather who have been talking to me about this issue are very different. Yes they definitely feel they have done better for themselves by adopting the new country and maybe they have.
But I still do not have the heart in me to congratulate them the day they acquire their precious new citizenship. That day they raised their hand and solemnly swore that they will have loyalty to only one country...not the country of their birth but the country of their choice. The have promised to stand by their new country in times of war etc. Many have described guilt r-idden, sleepless nights before this event and many have said they did not really say the difficult 'bits' of the oath. But then that's even worse. You could not remain loyal to the country of origin and you could also not be faithful to the adopted country. Today I choose to call a spade a spade and yes if patriotism is a sin I am guilty.
I have respect for those who say their philosophy does not match with their country of birth and have sincerely sworn their allegiance to their new country. Those who identify themselves first as Americans and then as Indians by race.
Just the way one cannot have Friends solely for profit or pleasure, one cannot have Nations for profit or pleasure. You made a choice stand by it. If there is a war between the US and India tomorrow (God Forbid! Now with the Nobel Peace Prize and all maybe US will give up their attack first-think later policy ), You, the new citizens have the courage and the strength of character to stand by your new country. Honor your commitments for once.
I too would prefer a world without borders. One Nation, One World. But till that happens I am an Indian and my loyalties remain fixed with my 'mother'land. Despite our differences, and even the secret guilty longing for a different mother especially as an angst ridden teenager I would want to 'change' her but never 'replace' her.
As the time approaches for us to return to our home country, I think I have heard it all. From plain selfishness, to hurtful statements meant to make the speaker feel better about their own decision to outright denial. This particular onslaught has left me hopping mad, frustrated and really, really scared for the future of good solid, plain old fashioned, value system.
Of course I am not expecting the pick-up-the-mud-and-rub-it-on-your-forehead-teary-eyed type of fervour. But some feelings which surpass the "my vote is for whoever gives me better roti-kapda-aur makaan" is asking for too much, is it?
Shifting your loyalties and allegiance because you expect a better deal in terms of lifestyle, education, money, success material and otherwise is a little surprising to me (to put it mildly).
I am aware of political asylum seekers, people who have been forced to migrate to avoid abject poverty. Victims of natural disasters, war and terrorism. But the profiles of those who I have been talking to or rather who have been talking to me about this issue are very different. Yes they definitely feel they have done better for themselves by adopting the new country and maybe they have.
But I still do not have the heart in me to congratulate them the day they acquire their precious new citizenship. That day they raised their hand and solemnly swore that they will have loyalty to only one country...not the country of their birth but the country of their choice. The have promised to stand by their new country in times of war etc. Many have described guilt r-idden, sleepless nights before this event and many have said they did not really say the difficult 'bits' of the oath. But then that's even worse. You could not remain loyal to the country of origin and you could also not be faithful to the adopted country. Today I choose to call a spade a spade and yes if patriotism is a sin I am guilty.
I have respect for those who say their philosophy does not match with their country of birth and have sincerely sworn their allegiance to their new country. Those who identify themselves first as Americans and then as Indians by race.
Just the way one cannot have Friends solely for profit or pleasure, one cannot have Nations for profit or pleasure. You made a choice stand by it. If there is a war between the US and India tomorrow (God Forbid! Now with the Nobel Peace Prize and all maybe US will give up their attack first-think later policy ), You, the new citizens have the courage and the strength of character to stand by your new country. Honor your commitments for once.
I too would prefer a world without borders. One Nation, One World. But till that happens I am an Indian and my loyalties remain fixed with my 'mother'land. Despite our differences, and even the secret guilty longing for a different mother especially as an angst ridden teenager I would want to 'change' her but never 'replace' her.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Another Reason Why I Believe in God
Amother Reason Why I Believe in God...........
Not that I personally need any reminding and reasons to believe in God. I thought that in a world where agnosticism is in vogue maybe the above pictures may bring about a change of heart in a die hard non-believer or two :)
For me the fact that I get up every morning and still remember who I am, the fact that the entire mechanism of eating, digesting, filtering out toxins happens, the fact that my Gynaecologist admitted that there are only so many things they know for sure about conception and delivery is enough to reiterate my faith in a Supreme Being. P.S there are many more better reasons too, but this will have to do for the time being :)
The changing seasons only add to my awe of the creator.I have just come back from a trip to the New England region of USA and I have been suitably spell bound by the work of the Master Artist. The yellows, burned orange, reds are the colors favored by God this month. I thanked god and praised his artistry as I breathed in the crisp, chilly air and took in the splashes of color on the once green landscape. I am no poet and it will probably take poetry to describe what I saw. I am no Pandit Jagannath who in 'Gangalahiri' took poetry to new heights and did justice to the beauty and meaning of the River Ganga.
Anyways so I took the easy way out and am letting the pictures do the talking. I see miracles everyday,around me.What you see in the pictures is what I consider a Miracle !!!
Not that I personally need any reminding and reasons to believe in God. I thought that in a world where agnosticism is in vogue maybe the above pictures may bring about a change of heart in a die hard non-believer or two :)
For me the fact that I get up every morning and still remember who I am, the fact that the entire mechanism of eating, digesting, filtering out toxins happens, the fact that my Gynaecologist admitted that there are only so many things they know for sure about conception and delivery is enough to reiterate my faith in a Supreme Being. P.S there are many more better reasons too, but this will have to do for the time being :)
The changing seasons only add to my awe of the creator.I have just come back from a trip to the New England region of USA and I have been suitably spell bound by the work of the Master Artist. The yellows, burned orange, reds are the colors favored by God this month. I thanked god and praised his artistry as I breathed in the crisp, chilly air and took in the splashes of color on the once green landscape. I am no poet and it will probably take poetry to describe what I saw. I am no Pandit Jagannath who in 'Gangalahiri' took poetry to new heights and did justice to the beauty and meaning of the River Ganga.
Anyways so I took the easy way out and am letting the pictures do the talking. I see miracles everyday,around me.What you see in the pictures is what I consider a Miracle !!!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Entering the System
Tuesday Breakfast : Cottage cheese stuffed freshly baked kulcha w kechup n pineapple drink
Lunch: Kadhi Pakoda , Jeera aloo, Green peas pulao, Phulka dheeme aanch se, Fried masala papad, Green salad, Rice kheer thandi thandi
Evening Drink:Strawberry shake
Wednesday Breakfast : Fresh vegetable potato cutlet w steamed green peas n oven freah muffin, rose drink
Lunch : Ghia masala curry, Amritsari Chole,Bhuna piaz pulao, Tandoori naan, Boondi raita, Garden fresh greens roundal cut, Fresh fruits.
Evening Drink : Bournvita Milk
Thursday Breakfast: Grated vegetable stuffed parantha w fresh curd, mango drink Lunch: Kadhai paneer, Channa dal Ghia, Steamed rice, Chapati, Cucumber raita, Vinegar dipped onion w hari chutney, Jalebi.
Evening Drink: Mochha Milk
Friday Breakfast : Carrot peas freshly steamed idli w sambhar n coco chutney, fresh lime juice
Lunch : Subz bhaji w butter on top, Bombay pao, Pindi channa dry w paneer cubes on top, Stuffed bhatura, Piazi raita, Bhuna jeera rice, Kesari rasmalai.
Evening Drink: Mango Shake
Million Dollars to the one who guesses what the above is...or maybe just a "The Most Aware of Whats Happening Around You Award!"
I for one had a jaw droping moment when I read the above....the jaw hit the keyboard kinda moment.....for the above is not a Luxury Hotel/Resort's Menu Card but a weekly Menu Card of a School....a school where a 3.5 or 4 year old enters primarily for the purpose of acquiring life skills....oops sorry I meant livlihood skills. When did a center of training (I do not have the heart or the mind rather, to call them Centers of Learning, though some teachers do cross that line and make it a learning experience despite the stale 'how to make a good living' syllabus, but they are few and far in between).
If one thing I am sure of, it is a head full of premature grey hair by the end of the following 4 months. The end of the coming 4-6 months will also mean return to Janmabhoomi and hopefully a satisfying end to my school search for my children who will enter the Indian School System. My search and queries have lead me to frazzled , harassed parents who have told me horror stories which can keep any parent awake. Any queries sent to the 'Contact Us'link of school websites have (not surprisingly) yielded no results. I have been told the schools do not need 'us', we need 'them'. This power play and positioning means we will do whatever 'they' ask us to do. From paying money under fancy and necessary sounding heads that are actually nothing more than shameless greedy 'donations' to being treated poorly, we take it in our stride. We accept being forced to maintain a DIH (Double Income Household), sitting for parent interviews at school and ignoring the most glaringly unethical question in the school admissons form about the income of the parents.
As a parent one is ready to sweat it out to give the best to one's child. I will happily do cartwheels around the school campus if gauranteed the best education for my child. But after paying ridiculously high fees and putting up with all that will come my way from this greedy, money making, institution, am I ensured of what is truly the best for my child. I am not expecting lessons to live life well...I know that is something I will have to do myself...gone are the days of such Gurukuls and such Gurus.
But the rising trend of Day Boarding Schools and forced lunch at school is alarming to say the least. The first such school that came up in my hometown of Jammu has a dangerously high number of obese children. Can a person who bids and wins a contract and hopes to make a profit be in a position to feed your child nourishing, nutritious and wholesome food. I have been in the hostel for both my undergrad and post grad and during PG I remember that a certain,Mr. Shetty, the Canteen Contractor was rumored to use soda in Rice and other dishes so that the students ate less and yet felt full.
A child growing up on such a diet however fancy and delicious is bound to suffer in the long run. And what is it with the long hours? It can be suitable for working moms but no one can convince me that it is good for a child to be in a structured setting for such long hours. The only thing it does is prepare the child early on for long working hours at office or lead to a case of early burn out, both physically and mentally. I do not need that kind of "smooth transition" from school to office for my children.
All I dream of is a great school. Not very far away from home. Where lunch means exchanging home made parathas with some friends idlis. A school where one makes friends, explores and grows. A place where winning is not important but doing one's best is. Values are equally cherished as academic excellence. A place where a child may falter, make mistakes but never stops learning.
P.S : Any suggestions, advise, information are more than wlecome :)
Lunch: Kadhi Pakoda , Jeera aloo, Green peas pulao, Phulka dheeme aanch se, Fried masala papad, Green salad, Rice kheer thandi thandi
Evening Drink:Strawberry shake
Wednesday Breakfast : Fresh vegetable potato cutlet w steamed green peas n oven freah muffin, rose drink
Lunch : Ghia masala curry, Amritsari Chole,Bhuna piaz pulao, Tandoori naan, Boondi raita, Garden fresh greens roundal cut, Fresh fruits.
Evening Drink : Bournvita Milk
Thursday Breakfast: Grated vegetable stuffed parantha w fresh curd, mango drink Lunch: Kadhai paneer, Channa dal Ghia, Steamed rice, Chapati, Cucumber raita, Vinegar dipped onion w hari chutney, Jalebi.
Evening Drink: Mochha Milk
Friday Breakfast : Carrot peas freshly steamed idli w sambhar n coco chutney, fresh lime juice
Lunch : Subz bhaji w butter on top, Bombay pao, Pindi channa dry w paneer cubes on top, Stuffed bhatura, Piazi raita, Bhuna jeera rice, Kesari rasmalai.
Evening Drink: Mango Shake
Million Dollars to the one who guesses what the above is...or maybe just a "The Most Aware of Whats Happening Around You Award!"
I for one had a jaw droping moment when I read the above....the jaw hit the keyboard kinda moment.....for the above is not a Luxury Hotel/Resort's Menu Card but a weekly Menu Card of a School....a school where a 3.5 or 4 year old enters primarily for the purpose of acquiring life skills....oops sorry I meant livlihood skills. When did a center of training (I do not have the heart or the mind rather, to call them Centers of Learning, though some teachers do cross that line and make it a learning experience despite the stale 'how to make a good living' syllabus, but they are few and far in between).
If one thing I am sure of, it is a head full of premature grey hair by the end of the following 4 months. The end of the coming 4-6 months will also mean return to Janmabhoomi and hopefully a satisfying end to my school search for my children who will enter the Indian School System. My search and queries have lead me to frazzled , harassed parents who have told me horror stories which can keep any parent awake. Any queries sent to the 'Contact Us'link of school websites have (not surprisingly) yielded no results. I have been told the schools do not need 'us', we need 'them'. This power play and positioning means we will do whatever 'they' ask us to do. From paying money under fancy and necessary sounding heads that are actually nothing more than shameless greedy 'donations' to being treated poorly, we take it in our stride. We accept being forced to maintain a DIH (Double Income Household), sitting for parent interviews at school and ignoring the most glaringly unethical question in the school admissons form about the income of the parents.
As a parent one is ready to sweat it out to give the best to one's child. I will happily do cartwheels around the school campus if gauranteed the best education for my child. But after paying ridiculously high fees and putting up with all that will come my way from this greedy, money making, institution, am I ensured of what is truly the best for my child. I am not expecting lessons to live life well...I know that is something I will have to do myself...gone are the days of such Gurukuls and such Gurus.
But the rising trend of Day Boarding Schools and forced lunch at school is alarming to say the least. The first such school that came up in my hometown of Jammu has a dangerously high number of obese children. Can a person who bids and wins a contract and hopes to make a profit be in a position to feed your child nourishing, nutritious and wholesome food. I have been in the hostel for both my undergrad and post grad and during PG I remember that a certain,Mr. Shetty, the Canteen Contractor was rumored to use soda in Rice and other dishes so that the students ate less and yet felt full.
A child growing up on such a diet however fancy and delicious is bound to suffer in the long run. And what is it with the long hours? It can be suitable for working moms but no one can convince me that it is good for a child to be in a structured setting for such long hours. The only thing it does is prepare the child early on for long working hours at office or lead to a case of early burn out, both physically and mentally. I do not need that kind of "smooth transition" from school to office for my children.
All I dream of is a great school. Not very far away from home. Where lunch means exchanging home made parathas with some friends idlis. A school where one makes friends, explores and grows. A place where winning is not important but doing one's best is. Values are equally cherished as academic excellence. A place where a child may falter, make mistakes but never stops learning.
P.S : Any suggestions, advise, information are more than wlecome :)
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Hiatus
Lots of things happening....
Son 'A' turns 5 soon. Dad is leaving for Jammu, India, his 2.5 moths long visit winding to an end. A's birthday will be celebrated (nothing grand..his friends will come over) almost a week in advance since we want Nanaji to be a part of the celebration.
A is into Solar Systems and 'Mahabharat'(courtesy Nanaji) these days. And since his mom is artistically challenged I thought Solar System as a theme for the Birthday party is much more do-able. I have an exam coming up too. I am at my wits end and a little tierd with the range of emotions I am experiencing. So a break from blogging is becoming necessary.
Also the fact that my studies are not upto the mark and the exam of sorts is just a few more days away is making me unhappy.
I call it exam of sorts because, exams benefit us in some way or the other...Degree/Certification, a better job/opportunity or a higher salary etc etc etc. This exam will do nothing of that nature. But I cherish it more than the countless exams I have given before, because I do this only to gain knowledge. The concept of a Pareeksha is necessary for a mere mortal like me with 2 kids under the age of 5 and no help. I would never be able to finish a decent amount of literature/syllabus (if I can dare call it that) if the spectre of Exam did not loom overhead. Though I love to read, this is not an easy piece of reading. I am dealing with 4 Adhyayas of Geeta, The stories and concept of Dashavatar, 18 stories of great men like Kumaril Bhatt, Adi Shankracharya, Tiru Valluvar, Tulsidas....
The true meaning and significance behind many of our Hindu Festivals and rituals associated with them. And Pandurangashtakam ...written by Adi Shankracharya(meaning and memorizing. I admit ashamedly that I am not even attempting to learn the Sanskrit shlokhas. The rest is going to get my best shot.
Hence I am unable to read many of my favorite blogs and write posts as frequently but I will resurface with vigor post 9/13. See you soon.
Son 'A' turns 5 soon. Dad is leaving for Jammu, India, his 2.5 moths long visit winding to an end. A's birthday will be celebrated (nothing grand..his friends will come over) almost a week in advance since we want Nanaji to be a part of the celebration.
A is into Solar Systems and 'Mahabharat'(courtesy Nanaji) these days. And since his mom is artistically challenged I thought Solar System as a theme for the Birthday party is much more do-able. I have an exam coming up too. I am at my wits end and a little tierd with the range of emotions I am experiencing. So a break from blogging is becoming necessary.
Also the fact that my studies are not upto the mark and the exam of sorts is just a few more days away is making me unhappy.
I call it exam of sorts because, exams benefit us in some way or the other...Degree/Certification, a better job/opportunity or a higher salary etc etc etc. This exam will do nothing of that nature. But I cherish it more than the countless exams I have given before, because I do this only to gain knowledge. The concept of a Pareeksha is necessary for a mere mortal like me with 2 kids under the age of 5 and no help. I would never be able to finish a decent amount of literature/syllabus (if I can dare call it that) if the spectre of Exam did not loom overhead. Though I love to read, this is not an easy piece of reading. I am dealing with 4 Adhyayas of Geeta, The stories and concept of Dashavatar, 18 stories of great men like Kumaril Bhatt, Adi Shankracharya, Tiru Valluvar, Tulsidas....
The true meaning and significance behind many of our Hindu Festivals and rituals associated with them. And Pandurangashtakam ...written by Adi Shankracharya(meaning and memorizing. I admit ashamedly that I am not even attempting to learn the Sanskrit shlokhas. The rest is going to get my best shot.
Hence I am unable to read many of my favorite blogs and write posts as frequently but I will resurface with vigor post 9/13. See you soon.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Here Comes The Party Pooper
Disclaimer: All the incidents mentioned are true but the opinions expressed are the author's alone with the honest intention of hurting no one, especially Shiv/Ram/Balram Senas, Puja Oraganizers, Parents and Children.
Scene 1: Many years back growing up in Eastern India, I looked forward to Durga Pujo...The Pandals were a delight and the atmosphere positive and lively. Good food to eat, lots of Rabindra Sangeet, Conch Blowing Competitions, Aarti Competitions (they do it in a special way dancing to drums known as Dhaks). Later there would be plays by the local theatre groups.
You can view Dhunuchi Naach at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDlVlp3qgqk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWrw5CdjEiA&feature=related
Scene 2: As years went by the noise increased thanks to loudspeakers blaring bhajans sung to the tune of popular Bollywood numbers.
As I grew older venturing to see the Moortis and the skills of the craftsmen became a an exercise in life/modesty saving skills...Maa's Darshan came with dollops of butt pinching, squeezing, inappropriate touching experiences.
Scene 3: Newly married, we were the coolest couple in the block. I was still a student at TISS (Hubby still looks like he is in college) and many in the area thought we were a pair living in sin. Having cleared our names and our honor we were asked to judge a dance competition during the Ganapati Festival in Mumbai (Andheri). The competition did not earn us brownie points with the mothers whose children did not win. But I still vividly remember sitting in the Pandal ..with the beginnings of a migraine.. thanks to the ear splitting loud music and a growing embarassment on having to witness pre-pubescent children moving vulgarly to the tunes of Bollywood numbers.
Love the Arti though.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smlFOa42qSo&feature=related
Scene 4: I saw yet another clip last night of a dance competition organized for Ganapati and saw 8-9 year olds gyrating to "I am a Desi Girl.." and other such numbers. I thought the Ganapti Idol in the corner looked a little forlorn or maybe even embarrassed as these young girls...children heaved and twisted to these numbers.
Scene 5: I get invited to a friend's house for Ganapti and she says she is asking all the children invited to prepare a little something on Ganapti..Shloka, story, song...This way the children get to perform and learn at the same time. Our own little cultural program as we celebrate Ganesh Chaturthi. Fun redefined. God Bless Her !
If not for the beginning and the ending scene this would have been a sad story. But maybe it still is for many who think I am nothing more than a party Pooper who is taking away the fun element from these Puja Celebrations by frowning down upon the commercialization and heavy Bollywood influence.
The celebrations at a community level were introduced as a means to encourage a sense of unity...ekta and sangathan. Lokmanya Tilak popularized Ganapati Celebrations in Maharashtra. There should be entertainment undoubtedly. Festivals besides reiterating some good values are also a way to break the monotony of our lives and add some color. But what kind of entertainment do we seek, is an important question we should ask ourselves. Today sab chalta hai in the name of entertainment. An entertainment which is inappropriate does not add any value and in fact can be extremely damaging should be a matter of concern.
This should not be confused as my aversion to dance altogether. Besides the classical art forms I love to dance to music of any kind. But that is also because I have acquired the ability to filter the nonsense in the lyrics. I also know there is a different time and place for different things.
Personally I am worried. How do I bring up children in an environment like this? I do not want a 12 year old behaving like a 20 year old. I do not want them to accept entertainment and popularity as it is seen today. A very challenging task which is all consuming, especially since I see little help coming from any quarter. I can only do my best, hope to be surrounded by like-minded people and......pray.
I am not worried about disapproval and dissent. Zamana badal gaya hai and Vichaar bhi and I choose and prefer to walk the less travelled road. But yes, the road is long and hard.
Scene 1: Many years back growing up in Eastern India, I looked forward to Durga Pujo...The Pandals were a delight and the atmosphere positive and lively. Good food to eat, lots of Rabindra Sangeet, Conch Blowing Competitions, Aarti Competitions (they do it in a special way dancing to drums known as Dhaks). Later there would be plays by the local theatre groups.
You can view Dhunuchi Naach at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDlVlp3qgqk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWrw5CdjEiA&feature=related
Scene 2: As years went by the noise increased thanks to loudspeakers blaring bhajans sung to the tune of popular Bollywood numbers.
As I grew older venturing to see the Moortis and the skills of the craftsmen became a an exercise in life/modesty saving skills...Maa's Darshan came with dollops of butt pinching, squeezing, inappropriate touching experiences.
Scene 3: Newly married, we were the coolest couple in the block. I was still a student at TISS (Hubby still looks like he is in college) and many in the area thought we were a pair living in sin. Having cleared our names and our honor we were asked to judge a dance competition during the Ganapati Festival in Mumbai (Andheri). The competition did not earn us brownie points with the mothers whose children did not win. But I still vividly remember sitting in the Pandal ..with the beginnings of a migraine.. thanks to the ear splitting loud music and a growing embarassment on having to witness pre-pubescent children moving vulgarly to the tunes of Bollywood numbers.
Love the Arti though.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smlFOa42qSo&feature=related
Scene 4: I saw yet another clip last night of a dance competition organized for Ganapati and saw 8-9 year olds gyrating to "I am a Desi Girl.." and other such numbers. I thought the Ganapti Idol in the corner looked a little forlorn or maybe even embarrassed as these young girls...children heaved and twisted to these numbers.
Scene 5: I get invited to a friend's house for Ganapti and she says she is asking all the children invited to prepare a little something on Ganapti..Shloka, story, song...This way the children get to perform and learn at the same time. Our own little cultural program as we celebrate Ganesh Chaturthi. Fun redefined. God Bless Her !
If not for the beginning and the ending scene this would have been a sad story. But maybe it still is for many who think I am nothing more than a party Pooper who is taking away the fun element from these Puja Celebrations by frowning down upon the commercialization and heavy Bollywood influence.
The celebrations at a community level were introduced as a means to encourage a sense of unity...ekta and sangathan. Lokmanya Tilak popularized Ganapati Celebrations in Maharashtra. There should be entertainment undoubtedly. Festivals besides reiterating some good values are also a way to break the monotony of our lives and add some color. But what kind of entertainment do we seek, is an important question we should ask ourselves. Today sab chalta hai in the name of entertainment. An entertainment which is inappropriate does not add any value and in fact can be extremely damaging should be a matter of concern.
This should not be confused as my aversion to dance altogether. Besides the classical art forms I love to dance to music of any kind. But that is also because I have acquired the ability to filter the nonsense in the lyrics. I also know there is a different time and place for different things.
Personally I am worried. How do I bring up children in an environment like this? I do not want a 12 year old behaving like a 20 year old. I do not want them to accept entertainment and popularity as it is seen today. A very challenging task which is all consuming, especially since I see little help coming from any quarter. I can only do my best, hope to be surrounded by like-minded people and......pray.
I am not worried about disapproval and dissent. Zamana badal gaya hai and Vichaar bhi and I choose and prefer to walk the less travelled road. But yes, the road is long and hard.
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