Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Ritual of Marriage and Misunderstandings

Hindu weddings have been glorified and romanticized by movies and tele-serials.
In smaller towns they are still an almost 10 day affair and loads of fun.
Some marriage rituals are hated and deemed abusive by the feminists and the Un/Mis-informed Hindus.
Kanyadaan being one.
It is also considered by the Ritualistic Hindu as a means to wash off one's sins.

I don't want to talk about the Ritualistic Hindu...who anyways could not care less about the meaning of any ritual he/she follows and only worsens by attaching superstition and 'sky-will-fall-down-upon-you-if-you-don't' consequences to it.
I want to talk about the Un/Mis-informed Hindus...the ones who don't really know. They are not completely responsible for not knowing because it was never taught anywhere. The things they have learnt from family is unfortunately all rituals and no substance. They have grown up hating what they have heard and not surprisingly so.

We are Hindus. We are 'secular' by nature. We do not favor Hindu versions of Madarsas or Sunday Bible Schools. Hindus attending any such Center of Learning face the risk of being labelled as Communal.
So where does the Uninformed Hindu go to check his facts on Hinduism? Probably the book - "Hinduism for Dummies". The book sadly has also been written by dummies. So after reading even one such book...the righteous and any self-respecting Un-informed Hindu especially woman will go red in the face screaming to the world at large that the rituals are demeaning and she would rather go to hell than practice the 'shameful' ritual. I was once that Mis-informed/Un-informed Hindu...as someone said I am now the Rediscovering Hindu :).

What surprises me is we take so much care before choosing our doctor, our child's school, our home, car etc etc etc And pick up any over the counter book on Hinduism and start to judge. The hand me down tit bits about the Dharm....do we care to double check the facts? Have we taken pains to find the truth behind the muck that has collected over the years by malpractice? I did not until very recently.
Re-education and Reform are vital.

Anyways coming back to the point.

Kanyadaan. Kanyadaan or Panigrahan or Hast-milaap is not derogatory to anyone least to the girl and her family. It is a common factor in all Hindu marriages irrespective of the region. Terminology and ritual might differ slightly.
The word Daan has to be understood in the Shastriya terms. Daan is not a sign of weakness but the greatest strength. It does not mean 'donation' which brings in a sense of unequal relationship between the giver and receiver. That is wherein lies the problem of language. You cannot replace the word Daan with Donation. If you do so, you misinterpret. I also wonder if the Christian practice of the Father of the Bride "Giving Away" his daughter has similar connotations. Have not heard many questions on that though. Our Rishis consider a husband and wife equals. There is no 'better half' because they are considered One. "Tdetat Ardh Dwidalam Bhavati"
Lets look at some of the marriage rituals:

When the institution of marriage was being set up by Rishi Manu the question arose who will go to whose house? The girl graciously offered to move to the boys house BUT only when the boy comes to get her.On his knees, on a horse, in car, a Moped, a Bullet....any means of transport of his choice...so the Baraat/the Grooms side goes to girl's house. Dancing themselves silly and high on alcohol is, I stress not mentioned in the Shastras.

Some of the rituals(may vary in degrees from state to state):

VarPooja/Dwaar Pooja: Is a ceremony where the groom is welcomed and considered Vishnu swaroop. This was a psychological move. To reduce the anxiety of the brides parents (they were naturally worried if the boy was good enough for their daughter). We can control somethings and not all. Hence the parents were to place trust in God and assume that the boy at their door seeking their daughters hand in marriage was Narayan. All the things used to welcome him are also symbolic and signify something.

VarMala: Symolizes the concept of Samarpan (surrender) and Union (Ekya)

Hastmilaap/Panigrahan/Kanyadaan: Is when the Father of the bride places the bride's hand in the groom's hand and he takes it saying "Dharme ch arthe ch kame ch aham natichrami"Meaning he promises that in dharm (in my way of life), kam(in my desires for worldly pleasures) and arth (financially) I will never harm you. Not only does he accept the girl as his wife but also becomes responsible for her happiness and well being.
The Father of the bride touches the Groom's knee/shoulder/whatever which is also known as Madhurpak puja is not a way of saying Please allow me to 'donate' my daughter to you (sick!) but he is sending the message that you are now Shreshta -the best (of course nothing but the Best for one's daughter) and if you are not you better become now :) The practice of holding a piece of cloth..Antarpat signifies the Groom's Last Chance...it says if you are not capable of taking on this responsibility you better leave before its too late. In some states this is when you hear the cry of Saavdhaan Saavdhaan!!(your last chance to run if you are an incapable insecure chauvinistic fool) The blunt honesty blows me away:) I love my Dharm :)


SaptPadi or SaatPhere: Is the heart of the Hindu marriage. There is an exchange of 7 fundamental priniciples of an ideal marriage. The groom (the Pandit/Priest does the honors of course) tells her 7 principles and expects the wife to follow and vice-versa.

Mangalsutra/Sindoor: Is symbolic and reminds the woman of her husband's presence and his love. It is considered a sign of Saubhagya or Good Luck. Of course I feel unashamedly happy and lucky that I am married to man who loves me. At times though I also feel it is not me who needs the reminding so much as the brainless men who say "Will you be friends with me " (Creep!)
If the husband is not worthy...well then who needs reminding? Do away with the husband and the symbols, I guess.

Now, to be honest even I did not like the idea of leaving my parents house when getting married. The fact that we have not been living with either set of parents since our marriage is technical but a vital detail. It is understood that our parents will stay with us whenever they want or feel the need.It applies equally to both sets of parents.
Now coming to the heated debate and the billion dollar question which in today's age is merely symbolic, is : why should the girl go the grooms house?

Well for me now as I see it I amongst the two of us (husband and I) was better capable of going into another family, treating them like my own(most of the times:)) and loving them back with the same intensity. I was also more capable (something which is intrinsic to me as a woman not a learned behavior...may not apply to all for a variety of reasons)of aligning the two families and creating an unbreakable bond between them. I again had the emotional intelligence and practical as well to not let one family suffer at the cost of another. I could flit and fit in both households with ease. My husband barely manages to remember his own birthday or the important festivals. I don't even expect him to remember the names of second and third cousins wife and children's names on either side of the family. So I the "Samarpan ki Devi and Mamta ki Moorat" took pity on him and went to his house. :)

This is my strength. I now see it as a gift. A power!!!

P.S If one thinks the Husband is the better gifted one in this department...surely the order of things must be reversed :)

64 comments:

verbivorehere said...

WOW u did make me feel elated as a woman..amazing research and an awesome post :) enjoyed it thoroughly

Doodleduck said...

Loved the post.I have always loved Hindu marriage ceremony.I I as 'given away(kanyadaan)' by my mother(since I lost my Father when i was very young).If only the rest of the society would also see the respect Hinduism has for women.

I would like to know your opinion on SC's recent ruling that kicking 'Bahus' doesnot amount to cruelty!!I have been hopping mad after reading the news......what message is it sending to the society?

D said...

Perhaps, you were better equipped to handle the transition from one family to another, but there may be a lot of girls who aren't. What of them? Does the institution of marriage make concessions for them? Honestly, of the two of us (my husband and I), I think my husband would have been better at making the adjustments I am expected to make after marriage but who do you think would take that into consideration?!

Also, while I don't believe in rituals, I do look at them as part of a tradition. However, the idea of wearing sindoor and mangalsutra does not appeal to me because, again, it is lopsided. Firstly, I don't need a reminder that my husband loves me or that I am lucky to have him in my life if I actually feel those two emotions. We are loved by our parents and feel lucky to have them too in our lives - why not wear a symbol of those emotions as well?

Secondly, if these two symbols do serve as a reminder of any sort, how come men don't need reminders? Is it that they are endowed with better memories of how lucky they are to be have wives like us?

Chrysalis, there's a lot in any religion that cannot be rationalised and should not be attempted to. If you have faith in some rituals, go ahead and pratice them. But faith doesn't always have a logic.

AnjuGandhi said...

thanx for such an informative post. many people who are not aware of the actual meaning behind the various rituals of Indian marriage will surely benefit from it.
rather i would welcome if you could give me a link or refer a book which has all the marrige shlokas in hindi . as i want my children at the time of their marrige to properly understand what they or the pandit is speaking and making them do various rituals
i believe in all the rituals and traditions but somehow male superiority this funda doesnt appeal to me
although I myself is a woman, Indian husband, joint family, mother of two and strong believer of family relations , values etc etc
but the humilation meted out to most of the woman just because she is a bahu or wife pains me a lot
and i agree with D when she says that there are many other relation which are very close to our heart then why not flaunt them and why the husband dosen;t need the reminder hat he is married and why he should make it public that he is officially committed to some one.
every ritual, custom has its good and bad points
but why treat the man as Narayan when he doesnt treat his other half as Narayani
and wny consider the groom to be narayan , if he is Narayan then what about his attitude towards woman after wards.
although I am deviating from the issue but then Ram himself dint turst his wife
http://anjugandhi.blogspot.com/2009/06/woman-then-and-now.html

Vinod_Sharma said...

Good to read such a post which educates us about the meaning and purpose of various rituals related to marriage. Other than the pandits who recite the shlokas and mantras, I doubt whether anyone else, including the couple getting married, knows anything about them. That is why everyone goes through the motions mechanically.

Some of us also tend to forget that there is a difference between social practices and rituals. If the boy is Narayan, for example, who does not know that the girl is Lakshmi? The divine couple is the ideal to take inspiration from. Of course that does not always happen in real life, but that does not mean we forget about it.

I agree that some symbols appear to be outdated in today's context. For those of us who feel so, there is no "fatwa", as it were, to fear. Far more important than symbols is the essence; that is what we must strive to understand and internalise. Without that, symbols are meaningless.

Chrysalis said...

Verbivorehere: Thanks. You are so welcome here.

Doodleduck: Thanks. Rest of the society seeing the respect Hinduism (which is the only religion where God is Bi-polar!!!) will not happen till everybody is re-educated, practices reformed and egos set aside to start the re-learning process.

Oh! Have to read about the SC ruling. Sounds crazy. Somehting surely must be wrong with the Judge!!!!

D: Taking the fact into consideration that you may not be better equipped to handle the transition from one family to another....means probably you were not ready for marriage which ia union of 2 families as well as 2 individuals. I was not ready too. Becuase noone prepared me for all that a marriage means! I am still learning but most importantly am willing to. There are moments of course :)
And anyways if the husband is better equipped to handle everything ...I said you could reverse the order of things....ghar jamai is always an option. :)
ABout the sindoor,mangalsutra,shakhapola...as Vinod ji says there is no Fatwa against those who choose not to wear it...its purely symbolic and optional.
I for one am not going around in sindoor. I don't see it as a bondage because it is not. Choice is completely in your hands. I have raised the same question. But since I am not bound by it I am complaining. Because there are many young women who love to adorn themselves with these symbols. Freedom of Choice!!!!
You will be surpirised that alomost all things have an explanation...and those which don't are not a part o the shastars to begin with...an addition by some crazy mind :)

Chrysalis said...

Anju Ji: I too feel very angry when I see the way a woman is mistreated and taken granted for..but the problem is not with the religion its with the people...Dharm does not sanction such behavior.
Do you know why the grils family has to prepare more for a marriage...this was done for the Groom's family to prepare for the big change ..welcoming a girl into their family and treating her like their own. It was supposed to be a quiet time...to refelect and prepare for all the Groom , his parents, siblings, relatives.... Do we do that anymore? We are busy throwing cocktail nights...sangeets...etc etc Is it a surprise we are sorely prepared for the young woman who leaves her family behind and walks into our home.
If the boy is considered Narayan The girl is Lakshmi. Some boys will be more like Ravan and some girls will be closer to Surpnakha....that has nothing to do with the religion.
There is no Male superiority funda in Sanatn Dharm. If someone tells you it is so...THEY ARE WRONG and are LYING...eihter on purpose or out of ignorance.

About Ram not trusting his wife that calls for another blog. I see it differently now....as I learn :)

There is no particular book I can refer ..I have a teacher..I follow his lectures and books which are compilation of his lectures.

Chrysalis said...

Vinod ji: I can always rely on your support Thank God for that :)
Yes the symbols are just that symbols...to understand the essence is key. But who teaches us what is malpractice and what is not?
What is the truth behind symbols?
Where are we learning all this ...NOWHERE!! so the problem I guess and the Hinduism Bashing.

Chrysalis said...

D : I was thinking ...like you I don't necessarily feel inclined to waer the symbols of marriage...as long as I get the essence as Vinod ji says.
But I am curious about the young women who do wear them all the time...I accept it completely but want to understand what motivates them today...
So the question goes to

PIPER: If you are back from Chicago..I would love to hear your reasons for wearing the Shakha pola. I know you were a spunky young girl in school. Very intelligent. Became a Doctor ...served in the Indian Army....so why do you need to wear the symbol my friend?

manju said...

Very comprehensive well researched post, explaning the meaning behind our marriage rituals.

In Hindu society we can accept as many practices as we wish to. I do not think that there is any great pressure.

In rural area there is pressure to 'conform' not only among Hindus, but in most communities, and in most countries.

As far as the Kanyadan ceremony in Hindu weddings is concerned, there is an equivalent ceremonial 'giving away of the bride' by her father in traditional Christian weddings.

Also customs change and evolve with time. In a Christian marriage the priest used to say- "I now pronounce you man and wife". Nowadays he usually says "I now pronounce you husband and wife".

As society evolves, customs change, too. But those who want to criticise Hinduism, just pull out some old custom out of their hats and start generalizing.

As you have earlier said- people criticise without knowing even the meaning of customs.

And lastly- I don't think that outward rituals/ customs are all that important. Our beliefs are more important.

Chrysalis said...

Mnaju ji : Thank you. I agree with you that beliefs and the understanding the true reason behind every ritual is important.

I too feel that people doing the wrong things out of ignorance or on purpose should not be confused with the Faith. They do not represent the Dharm correctly.

Chrysalis said...

Sorry for the typo...Manju ji...this is typical me...awful typist :(

Pranab said...

This is my response to the post (http://anjugandhi.blogspot.com/2009/07/kanyadaan-donation-of-your-daughter.html) and this one.

It became easier for me to understand the skepticism associated with the kanyadaan once I discerned that it was more due to allergy with the word 'daan' in kanyadaan than the philosophical point behind it. The fickelness of the arguements given against kanyadaan terming it as a donation, deplorable etc etc gets substantiated by
the fact that an English translated version of the kanyadaan was being picked up to understand the ritual and its relevance.

Some days back a post written by Chryalis(http://manukhajuria.blogspot.com/2009/07/language-and-legacy_23.html and the COMMENTS) highlighted the need for revival and preservation of our languages. One of the themes under the discussion in the same post was how translation(I believe even transliteration) distorts and damages the intended though of the translated text.

Anyone having a minimal understanding of the Sanatan Dharma could tell how feeble the word 'tution fee' is, to stand for the ritual of 'Gurudakshina'. Similarly without understanding the context the culture brings in, using the word alms for daan is like using sugar in place of honey, using gift is kind of insult and using commodity a blasphemy.

I would request people to watch the video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jH-Rq_1M94) from 35m: 20s onwards till end to have a better understanding of what daan stands for, what are the relative positions of the giver and taker and how precious a thing given as daan can be.

Before I comment on the ritual I would say that rituals are expressive of the countless invisible emotions attached to them and its to tough to describe them, that too in a foreign langauage. It should be understood that in the ritual of kanyadaan, the parents of the girl hand over their most beloved, closest to heart, possesion to their 'Jamai'. It should also be understood that the girl is never ever seen as a commodity. Infact any institution that views a daghter as a commodity loses all moral authority there and then. The
usage of the word commodity for the girl to be wed in this ritual is the biggest disrespect that can be done to her. The ritual keeps the boy and his family indebted for their whole life and at the same time eleveates the postion of the girl's parents in the society as one who brought up a child and then sent her off to create a new family and add new values to the society.

I find it ridiculous how the importance of this ritual can be reduced to be a ticket to heaven. This is as baseless and brainless an arguement as is one, that having a dip in river water can be a ticket to heaven. But what astonishes me the most is the that 'pandits and pujaris of various temples' are being used to support this arguement to bash kanyadan. This is sthng like asking present day politicians to lecture on what should be done to rid this country of corruption.

Coming to the concept of Putradaan, I would say that instances of such nature can be found in mythologies of sanathan dharma albeit in a different form than at the time of marriage or to parents in law. When Lord krishna was to leave for Mathura from Vrindavan to advance his actions against the wrong, his mother Yashoda was in disagreement bcoz of her limitless love and affection for her son. Lord Krishna could not leave in such a condition, though sooner reality dawned upon his mother who let him go knowing he would never be back. This was an act of putra daan to the world in every sense. But such events are not much celebrated bcoz our history writers and rishis accorded much higher spitritual respect to kanyadaan than the supposed act of
putradan.

Cont...

Pranab said...

Lastly I woud say that for any society that aims to be progressive and to move with time, discussion and debate on established rituals, beliefs and customs is a must. Reforming these in the right direction is even better, but at the same time these dicussions and debates should not be replaced with bashing just because one wants to look and seldom be a morally upright and progresive minded individual as doing that amounts to doing injustice to the culture we have inherited.

Chrysalis, I am sorry if I took too much space in the comments section.

Chrysalis said...

Pranab : Standing Ovation! I have a sneaking suspicion that you put it in an even better way than me. I would be honored to have you as a guest writer here. You send me a post and I would love to publish it here...if you don't mind doing so ofcourse.
Thanks for taking time and responding so beautifully...it takes the dicussion forward. Thank you.

BK Chowla said...

Extremely informative.There are definite rituals for performing any Hindu wedding.How much of the mantras recited by the pundits are understood by the groom and the bride is a separate issue.With due apologies to them,may the pundits themselves do not the real meaning of the mantras.It is an accepted ritual that the bride goes to the other house.May you know,in Assam,it is the way around,the groom goes in a Doli to bride's house and takes her surname.Bride being ill-treated has nothing to do with marriage rituals or religion.Personally,I see a lot of merit in Hindu wedding rituals.

Chrysalis said...

Chowla JI: Yes I am aware of the fact that many communities in the NOrth East and I think a few in Kerela too are matriarchal. The groom takes the bride's last name and the elder daughter inherits the property.
I have a friends from Meghalaya, a Khasi who follow the matriarchal system. But they also encourage marriage within the family ( with mother's brother) so that that the family wealth remains with the family.
The fact that the Hindusim has nothing to do with the plight of women is my point here. For those who burn the ManuSmriti or debunk the Ramayan actually never understood it.

wordsndreamz said...

Chrysalis, Wonderful post. I am amazed at the amount of research that you have done.

While I have my reservations about Kanyadaan - it is more to do with the way, the rituals are interpreted and followed as against what is in our scriptures - which I have to admit 0 I know practically nothing about. As you say - the malpractices have nothing to do with our religion - it has more to do with society and the way it chooses to use such rituals.. And that is what I have against all such ritual.

Secondly, as for women becoming expected to be part of the groom's family and things like that - I am with D. While it might have been the easier alternative, I like the balance we, in my marriage, have tried to achieve - we both care about both families - and both sets of parents are equally important, rather than the girl totally moving over to the groom's side and the groom having nothing to do with his wife's family.. Again - this, I think should be based on each couple's needs - rather than a blanket requirement. My grouse is that people use 'culture, religion' to impose rituals as if they are part and parcel of the religion.

As you said, in the part of Kerala, that I hail from, we have matrilineal - not matriachal, form of families. Where the groom does not take the bride's name nor does the bride - traditionally. Inheritance is the main difference, property, traditionally used to go to the girls and their children.

Hinduism has nothing to do with ill-treatment of women - as you said women in western societies had the same issues.. They had a dowry system too. I suspect, things changed much earlier for them than for us. In our case, a lot of rituals are still being misused, making it difficult to justify them.

Then again - the beauty of Hinduism is that we can be a Hindu, without following any of these rituals.. there are no 'rules' that can effectively define you as a Hindu. That, for me, is the most beautiful part of it all.

Chrysalis said...

Smitha: I am with you on all things except the choice of words..." I am against Rituals"
How can I be against something whihc is not at fault?
As you yourself say there is nothing wrong with the scriptures or Hindusim..then why be anti-rituals. I mean you can choose to follow or not. But the choice of words makes it seem as if there is something wrong with the ritual in itself...which is not true.

If a ritual is being misused...be against the people doing so(I certainly am against such Pandits and people)...and it calls for REFORM and RE EDUCATION not BOYCOTT!!!

About the equation between you and your husband regarding parents is what is the wisest and it stands true for us too....as I have mentioned in my post. The girl going to the Groom's house was a technical detail which does not make sense anymore because we leave both sets of parents for 'practical' reasons.

Secondly going to the groom's house does not imply a total lack of involvement of the Husband with his wife's family. I don't know where that comes from? It is certainly not advocated anywhere.

SO why the Ritual/Hinduism bashing without proper knowledge. Lets not rely on hearsay and on people who know zilch to begin with is all I say.

Pranab said...

Chrysalis: I am heartly thankful for your generous response to my comment. I seriously doubt the probability of your sneaking suspicion to come true ever :). I did nothing more than reproducing parts of your post and presenting them in a different manner.

I feel greatly honoured, being given the invitation to publish a post via your blog. Thanks for it. I can't tell exactly when I would write my new post but whenever its done I will send you a request to consider it posting on your blog.

Piper .. said...

This is a very well-researched post, I must say. I dont agree with D`s comment. But you`ve answered it perfectly. So I wont dwell on that any more. Let me go back to your qstn. Why do I wear sindoor/shankha pola? Just because I like it. Period. I for one have never been a 'pro-rituals' person who could be coerced at any point into blindly following rituals. The funny part is that The G and I had a marriage just the way we wanted to. No 'phere'. No kanya daan. No 3 days of torture. Just a simple prayer service at The Mother`s ashram(because that is where I have been meditating all my life). A mehendi ceremony a day prior ONLY because I love the feeling of having mehendi decorated arms and feet! This isnt even a part of the bengali marriage! And a sindoor daan at the ashram because I wanted it. I have always wanted to wear sindoor, strange as that sounds!!
Needless to say, No one was happy except for The G and me!! We included and excluded rituals just as we pleased(the fact that he isnt religious just like me,helped)!! We even decided that ONLY Ma,Dad,sis and her hubby and the G`s bro/sis inlaw plus parents will be there at the ashram. No one else. For all others (who had plenty to say btw),who were dying to be a part of everything - well we had a dinner reception for them. So it was a fun marriage - one that only The G and I enjoyed! :):)
I have often times thought of removing the shankha pola now. Mainly while traveling because the airport security guys are annoying. But really, I dont think I ever will. My sister on the other hand doesnt wear any of this. Like you said, Its completely an individual`s choice. No longer a sign of bondage.
Does that answer your qstn?
I`m going to do a post on it.

Chrysalis said...

Piper: Thanks for taking out and replying at length.
You wear shakha pola because you like it. Simple enough. I love sindoor but wear it ocassionally. I become less of an Indian or a Hindu because of that...definitely not. Its a ritual ..no one is bound by it. BTW I love the bengali custom of Sindoor Khela...makes any woman look more beautiful.

I dont know wether you know but your marriage sounds like a Vedic Marriage minus all the ostentatious and totally unnecessary circus..you both did what you felt was right and good. Period.

Thats what my point is...you are not bound by any ritual..it is just that ..a ritual...as long you get the meaning behind it it does not matter wether you choose to wear sindoor or a diamond ring...or no such thing.
There will be no fatwa issued against you and you will not be dragged to the stakes for it.

Neither practice mindless ritual nor do bashing based on half baked knowledge.

B Shantanu said...

Good post Chrysalis!

Re. treatment of women in Hinduism etc, you and some of your readers may find these two posts interesting:

Women in Hinduism - Part I
and
Women in Hinduism - Part II

destinationinfinity said...

Actually certain people use rituals like dowry and grand marriages to show off their wealth. Almost all the marriages give something to both the newly wed couples - a Car at least! I do understand the practice of giving stuff earlier, when the income etc. was very low. But nowadays, with both of them in the software industry and the likes, what is the point?

I don't know about North, but in South there are certain families that live on the wealth transferred to them during marriages! That discourages hard work, or any work I ought to say.

I too think that there is no point in disputing all the rituals - There are some gems of rituals (like fasting for example) which are good for health - and to say that we follow only those rituals that we like (or that which amuse us) is like children saying that they want to eat only chocolates and not healthy fruits/vegetables. As long as we don't attempt to find out, we would not know! Neglecting all of them for the sake of fashion or freedom is dangerous - and people will feel for it later on.

These days, the first thing that newly wed couples do is move to a separate house. I don't blame them - that's the example their parents have set and that is what their children will do. If they are ok with that, let them move on.

I agree to the points mentioned in this post.

Destination Infinity

Chrysalis said...

Shantanu ji: Thank you. Your feedback is always valuable. And thank you again for the links. I look forward to reading the articles.

DI: Some things like dowry etc are not even rituals I fear...they are just practices that have cropped up which must certainly be done away with.

"Neglecting all of the for the sake of fashion or freedom is dangerous"...you hit the bulls eye.

b v said...

Great Post .. its nice to get to know about the meaning behind rituals .. i find a lot of people follow rituals blindly and dont get the significance

Chrysalis said...

B V: Welcome here and thanks. Yes either people mindlessly follow ritual or wihout proper knowledge bash them :)

Renu said...

lovely post and good rationalising:) and there will never be an end to why me? somewhere society has to have a system even for making life easy. Life is never an equation of science where a+ B = c and has to be. its more about love, compatibility and a desire to have a harmonious family, those who keep thinking about equalising everything, where will they get time to make a good family.

All these things keep churning in my mind all the time:), and I am also thinking of writing so much, will do so once I get time.

Amrita said...

Chrysalis kudos on this awesome post. And it stuck such a right chord. I am grateful to that gruff oldie who did our wedding, he was a stickler to discipline, but he did enumerate the meaning on the mantras and K and I being from different regions, he made K say his parts of the mantras in english since his sanskrit sucked :D

And seriously, wearing the symbols of wedlock is completely ones own choice. I for one wear them cos its a matter of pride for me that I am taken. And women were supposed to be sarva alankruta, meaning every part of them should be decorated. Hence I feel, the things came up to distinguish between a married and an un married lady. I am not sure whether it is factually correct, thought it seemed logically sound :D

Amit said...

wordsndreamz (Smitha?), you wrote:

"Then again - the beauty of Hinduism is that we can be a Hindu, without following any of these rituals.. there are no 'rules' that can effectively define you as a Hindu. That, for me, is the most beautiful part of it all."

But doesn't that beg the question - Who is a Hindu? What makes a Hindu?

I think I agree with the first part of your above comment - that a Hindu is not required to blindly follow rituals to be a Hindu; but I do think that there are certain attributes that do define a person as Hindu. Otherwise, there's no meaning to the word/concept of Hindu. Would like to know your thoughts on this.

Amit said...

Chrysalis,

Another good post. I'm actually quite thankful to "Hindu bashers" because if it wasn't for their actions of making this bashing in many cases, a thoughtless (as well as unfair) action just to prove that they are "liberal/progressive", so many people (including me) wouldn't have generated an interest in learning more about Sanaatan Dharm and finding out for ourselves whether there's truth and meaning in it and its various aspects. So, I definitely owe these people a debt of gratitude, because without coming across their words and actions, I likely would've lost this aspect of my identity. :)

I agree with you that it's good to try and find some meaning (doesn't have to be universal as long as I personally find it meaningful) as opposed to following it blindly, but I think D. also has a point that this exercise can sometimes be futile and one needs to have some faith, as not all rituals may be explained by logic and rationality. Then again, a ritual can just be beautiful or artistic, and have aesthetic value, and doesn't always need to conform to some logic. Sometimes, those looking for logic/rationality miss that aspect of rituals. Besides, not every aspect of our modern, "scientific" world is logical or rational, yet we accept it without questioning it, because of ads or because it is endorsed by a celebrity.

Chrysalis said...

Renu Ji: So good to see you here...after a long time. You are so right just to blindly hanker for equality without truly understanding the word ...wil only cause disharmony and confusion.
The woman ever since the launch of Feminist Movement...which would be a great movement if it was not standing on such shaky grounds has actually made women THINK they are better off. Why the need to do what the man does? We are equal partners and if each did his/her part with 100% sincerity things would run smoothly.

Amrita: Oh are you the romantic or what! "I am taken" Its refreshing in a world where everyone wants to be 'practical' 'modern' and defintely not 'taken'. I have now learnt to see the samarpan bhaav and love in your "I am taken". Its taken me sometime to get it and maybe I am still not there but I have learnt to appreciate the fact that your saying "I am taken" does not make you a potential victim of domestic violence or a weakling who will tolerate any kind of abuse aginst your person. You are such a sweetie :)

Chrysalis said...

Amit: I agree with you. There is a need of a certain amount of Faith to understand the concept of Dharm...after all to trust the unseeing cannot be done by hard cold rationalism..or the way we deine Rationalism.
It is not a co-incidence (I have started believing in signs now LOL)that today I heard a lecture on the origin of secularism. It originated as a compromise between the struggle between the Religious power(The Popedom) and the political Power ( the Kings of France and Germany).
What people forgot was that it was a battle between the Powers, Kingdoms the Religioua and pOlitical and not between the institutions.
Religious and Political Institutions must survive and that is where we went wrong.
We saw it as a complete war and as a result it resulted as a complete annihilation of religion from public spheres. Secularism was born and hence the breed of religion bashers who grew up on the secular diet. (MAybe will do a post on this sometime)
Yes I too am thankful for the bashers because they make me want to learn more. Learning more makes me love.... the Sanatan Dharm, my Rishis , my land and my culture....more.

Smitha said...

@Amit, Your question - 'But doesn't that beg the question - Who is a Hindu? What makes a Hindu? ' I would not even dream of claiming to be in a position to define what is a Hindu. How do you define a Hindu?

@Chrysalis, Don't you think rituals have more to do with culture than religion itself? If you take the instance of sindoor - we in Kerala do not have it have as part of traditions, so does that mean that we do not qualify as Hindus? I think equating rituals with religion has its dangers. Rituals change with regions and cultures.. Hinduism is anyway considered a way of life, so don't you think, while we need to understand the origins of rituals, it is important to evolve and discard the rituals that may be irrelevant now?

I agree with you on the point of reform and re-education - but there are times when rituals like Sati and dowry need to be eradicated from the society. Both these rituals may have sound had reasons for originating but at a point when they were being misused - the need to boycott them arose. Similarly, the case for inheritance.. What might have been relevant a few centuries ago - may not be relevant today..

Kislay said...

"Rediscovering Hindu" - I love the phrase . I am a rediscovering and discovering Hindu as well , as I guess .

And I am at a loss of words . This was brilliant , of course . It explained everything so elegantly . You blow me away Ma'm . You should put all this on a dedicated site for dummies . :)

Amit said...

Smitha, you used the word Hindu so that's why I asked. :)

And I'd agree with you that Hinduism gives a much greater latitude to its practitioners, and rituals/traditions vary from one region to another. But I'm not sure that [Hinduism = anything goes], as many people seem to think.

Smitha said...

@Amit, I used the word Hindu , in the context of the post. I agree with you that Hinduism = anything goes is not correct at all :)

Chrysalis said...

Kislay : I was sorely missing your commments on my posts. And I am so glad you have resurfaced again. Waise I cannot take credit for the terminology "Rediscovering Hindu" It was mentioned in some comment to a post in the blog Seriously Sandeep. I loved it because it so correctly defined me.

Smitha: I totally agree that rituals are not religion. Infact that was my point. Hence Ritual bashing should not be equal to Religion bashing. And yes rituals differ from region to region.
My point was that there is a reason behind most of the rituals. They may have taken a different rather a wrong meaning over time. Hence we should take efforts to understand what was stated and what was meant....rather than just get mad at something which was never there to begin with.
Dowry and Sati were never a ritual as we see today.

Sati was a term used for a woman who upon hearing the news of her husband's death would die herself(NATURALLY OUT OF GRIEF OR SHOCK). Not self -immolation. Suicide of this sort is considered a Sin in Sanatan Dharm.
People esp. in Rajasthan gave it a horrid twist (probably because of foriegn invaders and modesty of self) but it has never been a Ritual.

Infact if you read the story of BHAKT KAVI JAIDEV...you will know how beatifully his wife PADMAVATI explains that Sati is not burning oneslef on your husband's funeral pyre. She says it is a sin to take our life like this way and an act of cowardice.

It is a danger to just bash in the sense that we may say "HINDU RITUAL SATI IS EVIL"......but the fact remains it is NOT A HINDU RITUAL AS IT IS SEEN TODAY...Hence Re-education and Reformation....

Smitha said...

Chrysalis - Agree with you totally - degrading a religion based on practises(better word than ritual?) which have been twisted over the years is not correct at all. Absolutely agree with you - no two ways about that.

And when I say Sati - I mean the way it was practised in the recent past. Same goes for the caste system. There was a specfic logic to it - but it was misused until a point of no return. That was what I was meaning to say. Having said that - these sort of caste systems appear in every society - Boston Brahmins are an example. The way I look at it is, target the practise - but donot equate it with the religion..

Chrysalis said...

Smitha: I am totally with you my friend. Target the malpractice.
But have to tell you this strange thing..I am preparing for an exam....and read this story last night about Jaidev and his wife and the Sati bit. I get up in the morning and see your point on Sati....what a coincidence...makes me want to learn more and more... (ding ding eerie music)...or should I see as some sort of sign :)

Smitha said...

Oh my god! Chrysalis, you are getting psychic :) All the best for your exam :)

divya said...

wow! great post! yes its the woman who has the potential to make a difference to adapt and yet smile!

Kislay said...

I can say the same for your posts . I missed on a couple of good ones , my apologies . Work keeps me busy these days .

Chrysalis said...

Divya: Welcome here and thanks. Yes the woman is a force to reckon with.

Kislay: I know you are busy these days. Let not the IT industry suck you dry :)

J P Joshi said...

A very beautiful and refreshing post. Enjoyed the post and commend your thought and research. Discussions on marriage are probably as old as the institution itself. Let me put in my one paisa bit. As I grow older, I find more and more wisdom in the Hindu systems, rituals, customs - whatever you call them. They seem very practical, but corrupted and misunderstood.

Dowry - Girl's share in parents assets, given willingly by parents and siblings, because the girl had no claim on the parents property after marriage. The present law followed the British system and gave equal rights to property to the girl child as well, and so dowry seems irrelevant.

Girl moving to groom's family. It could have been the other way around - like you can drive on the left side of the road, like in India or on the right side, like in the US, BUT one has to have some system in an era of joint families which was a requirement during the agricultural era. Industrial era changed this requirement. In Hinduism, nothing is written in stone and like you say, one can rediscover based on the need, without bashing.

Chrysalis said...

Joshi Sir: Thank you for re- affirming my belief. It always helps when someone senior gives a pat in the the back.
I am on my journey to dicover how relevant and wise our Vedic Sanskriti is.
A very interesting take on dowry. Thank you, it explains so much and with such clarity.

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Sam Chak said...

Hi,

Thanks for the post. I am in dire need of some suggestion. I am a Hindu girl, planning to get married next year. My father had done "the Somprodan/ Kanyadan" of one of my cousin sister, where he had asked the Purohit to explain the meaning of the mantras that he had to chant. On learning their meaning he had found it to be derogatory for the girl. Then after he is determined that he wont be performing my Somprodan. I would like to find out about entire mantras and their meaning before I take a decision about the way of marriage that I would choose. Can you please let me know where I can find it?

uza dortor said...



i am giving this testimony cos l am happy

My name is mrs. Deborah Collins from Houston,taxes.i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once. when i went to Africa in December this year on a business summit. i ment a man called dr. Atakpo.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love’s gone,misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 2 years… i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 6 days when i returned to taxes, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email address atakpospelltemple@yahoo.com

Great Atakpo i thank you very much thank you in 1000000 times.. if not you i would have been losted and wasted thank you.

please make sure you contact him for any financial difficulties okay..

What a powerful man such as Dr Atakpo.. he is so much powerful..\\ email him for any difficulties.. atakpospelltemple@yahoo.com

deborah said...



deborah

i am giving this testimony cos l am happy My name is mrs. Deborah Collins from Houston,taxes.i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once. when i went to Africa in April 28th this year on a business summit. i ment a man called dr. Atakpo.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love’s gone,misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 2 years… i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 6 days when i returned to taxes, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email address atakpotemble@yahoo.com Great Atakpo i thank you very much thank you in 1000000 times.. if not you i would have been losted and wasted thank you. please make sure you contact him for any financial difficulties okay.. What a powerful man such as Dr Atakpo.. he is so much powerful..\\ email him for any difficulties.. atakpotemble@yahoo.com


queen michez said...

A Great joy has fall on me as a surprise and i am here to thank the great and powerful spell caster oshomospelltemple@gmail.com for helping in getting my lover back to me within a twicle of an eye, Dr Oshomo is a graet and powerful spell caster that is sent by God to help the needing and he is like a father to the fatherless...
My Name is ABELLA ABELARDO,from Zaragoza in Spain i am here to share a testimony on how i got my Husband back who broke up with me after 12years of marriage, he came into the house onenight of a sudden he said he was no longer interested in our marraige i thought he was joking, in the morning, he went to the chamber were he finalized our divorce paper, and we got divorced, and my life was upset and i was in a place of delima because i love my husband so much and he was the forst man that i have ever loved, and he was the first man i have ever see in my life and he was the one that break my virginity,due to these my life was bitter and i was so helpless and i decided to share my feeling to a friend who lives in the same state with me in spain and she asked me to contact online Africa spell caster that i could be able to reconcile back with my husband, i decided to put it as a try and i decided to contact dr OSHOMO, of oshomospelltemple@gmail.com, and he told me that i was going to get my husband back within 9hours i never believed he could be able to help me out, not untill my husband really called me last week Friday, and asked me to come back home and started begging me for forgiveness that he so sorry for what he has put me through, and as i am talking right now i am happily living with my husband and we are living together with love and cherish and we are together with our 5years old kid Bennard,, if you are there you are having some little problem with your husband or your lover simply contact DR OSHOMO on his email address oshomospelltemple@gmail.com, he will help you out he is a great and mighlthy spell caster who help in getting back lost lover without no form of delay...\
Please email dr oshomo on his email address oshomospelltemple@gmail.com Dr oshomo i thank you so much for helping me with my problems i am so greatful and i promised to share these to the worldwide to let them know of your good work and your kindness and goodness...\
FROM MRS ABELLA ABELARDO FROM SPAIN

deborah said...

Santana Valdez Says

i am giving this testimony cos l am happy

My name is mrs. Santana Valdez from Houston,taxes.i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once. when i went to Africa in June 28th 2013 this year on a business summit. i ment a man called dr. Atakpo.He is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love’s gone,misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 2 years… i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 6 days when i returned to taxes, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married..i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do… well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email address atakpotemble@yahoo.com Great Atakpo i thank you very much thank you in 1000000 times.. if not you i would have been losted and wasted thank you. Email Him Through his email address... atakpotemble@yahoo.com please make sure you contact him for any financial difficulties okay...What a powerful man such as Dr Atakpo.. he is so much powerful..\\ email him for any difficulties.. atakpotemble@yahoo.com




joyce said...

I want you to hear a good testimony of the great love Dr Odige of odigelovespelltemple@yahoo.com) who help me on my time of problems, My name is Joyce and i am from France and i am married with 2kids and i had a lovely family before before all the problem i want to share with you happened,my husband use to be very caring and lovely to me and my kids and we were very happy with each other,until a day and we where having a dinner in one of the restaurant in our state and their was a lady who was sitting close to us and i never knew she was interested to have my husband and due to i was with my husband she could not do anything there then after that day,my husband started to maltreat us at home not knowing that he his seeing that lady until a friend came to told me and i confirm it my self it really hurt due to the love we shared before,it really affected me until a friend who came from Africa told me about the powers of Africa spell Doctors specially Dr Odige of odigelovespelltemple@yahoo.com,even if i did not believe in spell i had nothing but to try and to my greatest surprise my husband came back home and beg me and now we are living more happy than before please you all should come together and thanks these great Dr Odige of odigelovespelltemple@yahoo.com,He can also help you if you believe in him and these is contact:odigelovespelltemple@yahoo.com

Malawi Racum said...

Dr Malawi is like a father to the fatherless.. i never believed these will really make a change in my marriage, and i never have it in my thought that i could ever been with my husband Mr Devis after divorcing and ending our 33years marriage.... My life was upset i never knew where to start from when my husband broke up with me.....My name is Tanisha Devis from Poland but got married and live in Chicago USA, spellofsolutiontemple@yahoo.com is the right email address to contact for an urgent help in getting your lover back.... My husband and I have been together for 33years before he divorced me and i was so upset because i thought i have lost my marriage forever... i did all i could to please for my husband to bring me back home but all to be in vain.. i had to travel away from my state because i was not having anywhere to stay because my home was not conducive for me to stay because my husband want me out of th house, i travel to a friend of mine in California, one night, when i was searching on a good spell caster results that help in bringing back lost lover's and husband's, i found an interesting story that was shared by Santana Valdez From Texas Huston, about a good spell caster called Dr Malawi,and how he helped her in getting her husband back home, and i decided to put a try in contacting him... he replied me back.. i thought at first these was just normal and he told me that i was going to get back my husband after a period of 28hours i still doubted him.... But today as i am sharing these good news is for me to express my experience to all the whole universe that these is a good spell caster that helps in bringing back lost lovers and he is (spellofsolutiontemple@yahoo.com)or call +27620171252 I am happily with my husband and my 3 kids, TARRY, WENDY, JEFF... great Malawi i thank you for helping me to get my family back.... his email address is (spellofsolutiontemple@yahoo.com)

Dr Usunorbu said...

i want to thank Dr Usunorbu of drusunorbuspellhome@gmail.com for making me happy in getting my ex lover back after broken up with me last month,i contacted this spell Dr for help and his work was guarantee that i was going to get my ex lover back after 24 hours, although i doubted his word but i decided to give it a try by cooperating with his terms, i did not only get back my ex lover after the spell, but i was also promoted in my place of work, i thank this powerful and trust dr who helped me found joy in my relationship, and me and my ex who is now my lover again is getting married on the 6th of next month, i am so happy that atleast i am with my lover again after all the pains and stress i being through when he first broke with me, i thank Dr Usunorbu (drusunorbuspellhome@gmail.com) i am so so happy i love my lover so much that i was almost end my life when he told me that it was over between both of us, but i thank the spell caster send by God in heaven to help his people, i am grateful Dr Usunorbu i am proud to know these spell Dr i am happy that he help me with my problems, for making my life see joy and happiness again, i am happy for his kindness, i am so happy,so i decided to share my store on the net so that people will see the good which Dr Usunorbu of (drusunorbuspellhome@gmail.com) has done for me in my life, and if you are out there passing through any condition, or having bad time with your lover,or your lover has broke up with you, do not think than to contact these same spell caster on his email address(drusunorbuspellhome@gmail.com) and you will consider your problem solve. Thanks Dr Usunorbu and i pray you will live long forever because you are so kind and powerful, this is my story from Lydia Claire From Texas United State Of America

Dr Usunorbu said...

their is a say that some good are found in d middle of d bad,i always knw u to b a good girl but human are like time,
[4:08:30 PM] ehis Amber: i just pray and hope u still remain d good i knw u to b
[4:08:53 PM] ehis Amber: as far as am concern those babes are paid for sex

Dr Usunorbu said...


i want to thank Dr Usunorbu of drusunorbuspellhome@gmail.com for making me happy in getting my ex lover back after broken up with me last month,i contacted this spell Dr for help and his work was guarantee that i was going to get my ex lover back after 24 hours, although i doubted his word but i decided to give it a try by cooperating with his terms, i did not only get back my ex lover after the spell, but i was also promoted in my place of work, i thank this powerful and trust dr who helped me found joy in my relationship, and me and my ex who is now my lover again is getting married on the 6th of next month, i am so happy that atleast i am with my lover again after all the pains and stress i being through when he first broke with me, i thank Dr Usunorbu (drusunorbuspellhome@gmail.com) i am so so happy i love my lover so much that i was almost end my life when he told me that it was over between both of us, but i thank the spell caster send by God in heaven to help his people, i am grateful Dr Usunorbu i am proud to know these spell Dr i am happy that he help me with my problems, for making my life see joy and happiness again, i am happy for his kindness, i am so happy,so i decided to share my store on the net so that people will see the good which Dr Usunorbu of (drusunorbuspellhome@gmail.com) has done for me in my life, and if you are out there passing through any condition, or having bad time with your lover,or your lover has broke up with you, do not think than to contact these same spell caster on his email address(drusunorbuspellhome@gmail.com) and you will consider your problem solve. Thanks Dr Usunorbu and i pray you will live long forever because you are so kind and powerful, this is my story from Lydia Claire From Texas United State Of America

Dr Usunorbu said...


i want to thank Dr Usunorbu of drusunorbuspellhome@gmail.com for making me happy in getting my ex lover back after broken up with me last month,i contacted this spell Dr for help and his work was guarantee that i was going to get my ex lover back after 24 hours, although i doubted his word but i decided to give it a try by cooperating with his terms, i did not only get back my ex lover after the spell, but i was also promoted in my place of work, i thank this powerful and trust dr who helped me found joy in my relationship, and me and my ex who is now my lover again is getting married on the 6th of next month, i am so happy that atleast i am with my lover again after all the pains and stress i being through when he first broke with me, i thank Dr Usunorbu (drusunorbuspellhome@gmail.com) i am so so happy i love my lover so much that i was almost end my life when he told me that it was over between both of us, but i thank the spell caster send by God in heaven to help his people, i am grateful Dr Usunorbu i am proud to know these spell Dr i am happy that he help me with my problems, for making my life see joy and happiness again, i am happy for his kindness, i am so happy,so i decided to share my store on the net so that people will see the good which Dr Usunorbu of (drusunorbuspellhome@gmail.com) has done for me in my life, and if you are out there passing through any condition, or having bad time with your lover,or your lover has broke up with you, do not think than to contact these same spell caster on his email address(drusunorbuspellhome@gmail.com) and you will consider your problem solve. Thanks Dr Usunorbu and i pray you will live long forever because you are so kind and powerful, this is my story from Lydia Claire From Texas United State Of America

Louann Jackson said...

OMG!!I AM LOUANN JACKSON ,I am out here to spreed this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex love back.I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl last Year, But when i meet a friend that introduce me to DR OKAYA the great messenger to the oracle that he serve,I narrated my problem to DOCTOR OKAYA about how my ex love left me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,In the next 24 hours,My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for an interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the MANAGER ..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact DOCTOR OKAYA at the following email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: (OKAYASPELLHELP@YAHOO.COM OR OKAYASPELLHELP@OUTLOOK.COM) or call him on +2348078291904 and get your problems solved like me..... ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: OKAYASPELLHELP@YAHOO.COM OR OKAYASPELLHELP@OUTLOOK.COM he is the best Regard LOUANN JACKSON

Benitha Chris said...

Its no longer news that DR Zadson of EDUDUZADSONTEMPLE@YAHOO.COM is a man sent by God to help the lonely,oppressed,deserted and broken hearted. It was recently i saw comments of how this man helps restore lost love in a very short while and i have been depressed for long after i lost my husband to another. I made contact with him and i was told i will get results in 2 days but i actually didnt believe that as i have heard that from others whom i contacted and yet nothing but to my greatest suprise it all happened as promised and i could not hold this joy but resulted to this blog to talk about the goddness shown to me by Dr Zadson. If you are lost or confused worry no longer and contact Dr Zadson on eduduzadsontemple@yahoo.com he is god sent.

Dr Edimili said...

I have something to share with you!!! There is a great joy in my heart which I want to share with everyone. My name is Angela Ella. I had a misunderstanding with my lover last year which led us to break up and he never wanted to hear my voice again. He saw a beautiful woman which he find more prettier than me, but as time went on I met Doctor Edimili. He is a great spell caster (medicine man ). I contacted him through his email and explained everything to him. He said that I shouldn't worry, that my lover will come back to me on his knees begging for forgiveness. After everything was prepared he told me that my lover will come to me within 24 hours begging. My greatest joy now is that he actually came back to me and fell on his knees begging for forgiveness, and today we are happy. Do you have any problem with your loved one? Do not know what to do? worry no more because Doctor Edimili can provide you with a spell to get him or her back. With the help of a spell just as he helped me. Contact Doctor Edimili today via email for your spell: dr.edimililovespell@gmail.com

PARUL SINGH said...

Hi.. I am a non bengali girl married to a bengali boy recently in Jan 2016. On my vidaai day, my left hand's pola broke. Somehow my husband fixed it by glue. A few days back my right hand shakha broke while washing dishes. After a few days of that, my right hand's pola also craked but I am still wearing it since I dont want to remove. I am really perplexed and need advice over the same. What should I do now? Can I wear a new set of these bangles?

Please Please help...!!!!