Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Goodbyes and Heartaches

I am depressed. I am woebegone. I am moping and also convinced I will be rendered -unable to function. All this and more once my neighbor and friend leaves for India (for good) in 6 days.

I have been blessed with great neighbors and great friends. I have already said my farewell to two really close friends and now this one. She is my next door neighbor. My support system in a foreign land. My Two year old thinks, she is her second mommy or something close. Without an extended family to fall back upon and grandmas and aunts to fuss over you, not surprising. Six long months of winter (when being inside the apartment is not a choice but a compulsion) were never so tedious after all, thanks to the 'padosis'. We carved a 'Little India' in our corner of the apartment building, with kids running around and playing house during the long winter months. From babysitting each others kids to a 24/7 supply of onion/tomato/sugar/flour, its been a great journey. We have sneaked in the occasional movie or dinner with the hubby thanks to taking turns to look after each other's kids. Such bonding makes for a hell of a joyride but becomes a sea of pain when the time comes to bid adeiu.

So I walk around with a heavy heart and nothing anyone says or does seems to make a difference right now. My two year old senses something and is already prone to unexplainable temper tantrums and long crying spells. The four year old will have a somewhat lonely summer without one of his best friends. My only consolation being that I am to follow suit and head back home in some more months. But undeniably it is the end of a journey for now.

Cheers to such neighbors and friends !!(to the 2 special ones too, who left already). My friend is a Mumbaikar (Maharashtrian) and I as North Indian as they come (hailing from Jammu and Kashmir)...so here's to the Shiv Sena Brigade and the Regional Fanatics : Eat Your Hearts Out!!!!

22 comments:

Vinod_Sharma said...

It is always difficult to part with close friends, more so in a place where those few are all that you have. You are having a heartache because you are the one remaining back; had you been the one leaving to head back home, it is joy that would have filled you more... enjoy their joy. Yours is coming too, isn't it?

rupa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rupa said...

Hey, I know what it feels like to say goodbye to some one who is so close to you. Last year around the same time it was my time to say the same. It made me emotinal reading this blog.

manju said...

It's natural to feel sad when friends depart, but they never really go away, do they? They stay in our hearts.

Chrysalis said...

Vinod ji: Thanks for your wise words. You are right I should focus on what is good for my friend here. And yes I too will return after a few months.

Rupa: Tell me about it. You are one out of the 2 special friends whom I have said my goodbyes too.

Manju ji: I so appreciate your wisdom. The friends are forever. Though a new chapter begins for them and soon for me too, they will always remain close to my heart.

Amrita said...

completely understand.... hope you come out of it soon..

Chrysalis said...

Amrita : Thanks. I will slowly and surely.

destinationinfinity said...

I felt the same when most of my friends moved from Chennai to the United States, soon after college. (Especially one close friend). Even though we could keep in touch, it is not like calling them and chatting when ever you like. The worst part was after some years, he visited India but was totally changed. Or perhaps, I was innocently the same! What ever, such situations in life takes away our near and dear!!

Destination Infinity

rupa said...

Well said Manju

Chrysalis said...

destinationinfinity: Distance does make a difference. It is a new beginning. But sad is when people change (not for the better), or we lose things in common with them.
I doubt something like that will happen with me coz these are friendships formed in my maturer years mid-twenties..:)Keeping my fingers crossed.

mesoliloquy said...

It is tough. Tough to part with loved ones. Growing up we lived a life of nomad since Dad was in defence so had so many of such heartaches. I could sense that pain while reading this.

All I can say is that true friends might move away but they will be in your heart. You can always pick up the phone and talk. I know it is just not the same.

--Solilo

Chrysalis said...

Solilo:Thanks for visiting my space. And yes I have I am suffering from a heartache. My 2 yr. old who is very attached to my friend is behaving weirdly too prone to long crying spells. That is making things worse for us :(
Thanks for your kind words. I really need them.

Online Marketer said...

Chrysalis, I am a believer of "distance makes the heart grow fonder". Make sure that the geographical distance brings you closer to your friends. I wish your friendship is further strengthened.

Chrysalis said...

Online Marketer: Welcome here and thank you so much for your advise. I will make efforts to maintain and strengthen all my friendships.

wordsndreamz said...

Oh, I totally understand what you are going through.. I went through almost the same thing last year same time, actually.. My then 2 yr old had a close friend in my friend's almost 2 yr old :) They even used to look similar.. It makes it even more difficult,I guess, coz in the profession that we/husbands are, this is almost a constant, isn't it? I am so looking forward to going back to India once and for all!

Chrysalis said...

Smitha: I know u totally get it because of our husband's line of work. I sometimes think luckier are those who grow up in one place. But then again I guess I am richer for having travelled and met such wonderful people. The goodbyes are terrible and one misses friends who share a history with you. She leaves Tuesday and I am trying not to think about it at all.

indyeahforever said...

having moved from place to place coz Dad was in the army, I can understand Chrysalis..

''Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things.'' hai na?:)

(((hugs))))

Chrysalis said...

indyeah: Very true and thanks for the hugs ..right back at ya.

Nisha said...

biding adieu is always sad...all u can do is hope for the best and pray that u always get such beautiful neighbours!a

Nisha said...

waise...such a short post? :P

Chrysalis said...

Nisha: True (what u said)
And yes waitfor my next looong post..you asked for it girl :)

Sara said...

Agree totally..in this foreign land,without family to fall back on,its the neighbors whoe become your family.And its heartbreaking to see them go...my sympathies.