Saturday, February 21, 2009

Friends and the City

I know I am running behind, but I was thrilled to watch Sex and the City -The Movie. FINALLY!. Though I saw it with many an interruption but I did make the effort to make it a pleasurable experience for myself.....the alchohol removed champagne,caprese stacks etc. (I fear I might have overdone it which does not bode well for the 10lbs. I am desperate to lose :( )
I do wish I could have done it in style and in some good female company but...what the heck...a pair of red and white polka dot flannel pajamas, and regular interruptions (had to deal with ink stamps and dirty little fingers, Curious George online games and chocolate milk) did not take away from the experience.

Besides drooling over the delicious outfits, bags and shoes (I am a girlie girl)what struck me most and stayed with me afterwards was the strong and lasting female friendships portrayed in the movie. I did not see the TV series to be honest, but loved the movie nonetheless. And I craved and how so, for female bonding and companionship. Not that I am lacking for it, but I missed and remembered all those girls who have crossed my path and have turned into even lovelier women. So here is an ode to some of the women who are great friends and some who I wish were:

The Activist :
She is a fierce , beautiful, strong, opinionated woman who is so different from me and yet so fundamentally similar. I am thankful we discovered what we had in common and hit it off. She smoked, she drank, she was/is loud and many hate her guts and her brains. I love her for the same ( the guts and the brains). She is someone with whom I contemplated unmentionable career choices (don't know why , she was probably drunk and I have no justifications), starting a NGO to fight for speedy trials and work on improvements in the justice system. She is doing better than planned and is fighting for the environment and the people, getting jailed and man-handled,travelling third class,....what not......
She is someone who I hold very dear and a peer that I genuinely admire.

Medusa :
I christened her Medusa, because she wandered around at unearthly hours in the hostel reading Marxian theories. She was almost mouselike in her demeanor at times and lion like, in her knowledge. I for some reason have always felt protective of her and by some sad twist of fate she has seen more than her share of tough times. I feel guilty for not being with her during those moments.

Roomie :
She was my first roomie and she was and probably still is a mother hen. We were a sight to behold...atleast 6 inches apart in hieght. But we shared the same values and the same small town dreams. She was a 'good girl' and I almost felt a little scared to let the 'bad girl' in me play out in front of her. For a 'good girl' ...she surprised me later in life with her own volatile love story and happy ending ,touchwood. So much for predictability. She is someone I know I can go running to for some TLC and hot soup on a cold day.

The Southie :
Another dear friend whose wedding left me bedazzled ...a regular Reddy wedding with diamonds and gold and heavier than body weight, Kanjeevarams....her simplicity is endearing and she is someone who is so easy to be around. I miss her and sense that a good heart to heart talk is long due.

My Support System in a Foriegn Land :
These are a group of women whom I would have never befriended. And what a loss it would have been. We would have crossed paths without stopping to talk merely because of our differences in education, interests, the way we verbalize and its not the language I am referring to. Thanks to them I realize these differences are so over hyped and there are some things which rise above all this and way more meaningful. I have formed some of the most precious friendships with people whom I have very little in common. But, being there for someone... sees no bar. From Goa connections,to an artist, to the chawl girl whose tenacity never ceases to amaze me. From absolute large heartedness, to total selflessness, to petty quarrels, to the only ray of hope in the long , cold New Jersey winters, from spouse cribbing sessions, to giggling over intimate details, from pot lucks and yoga sessions to girls night outs, from exchanging how to raise your child tips to discussing philosophy and spirituality, its been a joyous ride.

Wish I were more friendly with these friends/acquaintences :
These are girls I knew at school/college/work or some point of my life whom I admire for some or the other reason and wish I knew them better. The intelligent but rude and obnoxious Bong, from school (sorry thats how I remember her and I am sure she remembers me as worse )who has turned into this brilliant and sensitive writer. I read her posts and wish I could meet her over a cuppa coffee and talk about movies, books, politics anything and everything.

There are some fashionistas whose sense of style is jaw dropping and how I wish I could have them for a shopping guide considering that I hate shopping though I do love the goodies. Some seemingly live their lives with such abandon that I would love to take a leaf out of thier book.Some who drove me nuts yet were so intellectually and emotionally stimulating (yet another Bong from Grad school)

Some whom I remember as sweet gentle souls from a bygone era whom I would love to reconnect with...not just on social networking sites. I wonder about their well being and wish only the best for them. Some who I met fleetingly but who left a huge impression on me, and the desire to befriend them.

The bottomline being I am a woman through and through and though I could live without many things , I dont think I could survive and if yes, barely so without female bonding and companionship. To all the men who lent a patient ear and have been/are a part of my life,...... I owe you one, too.

So here's raising a toast to all the women in my life and to everlasting frinedships.Cheers!!!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

"Right to Defend Itself"

Peace To All is my prayer for the year 2009. And also that some sense prevails as we hurtle at breakneck speed to self destruction. I am gripped with increasing anxiety and despair at the way things stand today.

2009 which bodes not much as far as "prosperity" is concerned, considering the global recession, does not look too promising for peace and harmonious co existence of all, also.I find it bewildering that mind control, brain wash, call it whatever, works so well that we fail to ask ourselves basic common sense questions and eat hungrily whatever the respectable sounding news sites throw at us. Are we so brain dead watching the idiot box that we think its acceptable the way a civilain area is being bombed and the civilian population being denied food and medications. Reasons for such actions are immaterial. Liberty at what cost and on what gounds? Afghanistan, Iraq, Gaza....who needs protecting and from whom? How can a nation , a people a world live that liberty if its tainted by the blood of so many innocents... men women and children.

I had started this article planning to write only about Gaza but am now inclined to write about a couple of other things too. The economic recession puts into focus the ever increasing greed for money and power...a thirst which is limitless and oh so futile. Self esteem has been confused with ones pay package, designations, size and number of homes/property owned, cars, vacations etc. This has, on a sociological note, meant that the old and the really young (children) have been sorely shortchanged. The old have no one to care for them in the twilight of their lives and the children suddenly very soon after their births become the responsibility of people who are PAID to do the precious job of bringing up and moulding them into good, responsible, moral people. Is it a surprise that despite stringent laws and better implementation techniques we are a sorry society today.

Leaping to another headline grabbing news item , that of moral policing by Shiv/Ram/Hanuman Senas. The senas are by the dozen and they in the name of defending "Religion" only push more and more people towards Atheism and Agnosticism.
The moral brigade are farthest from the truth and dont know the basics of the religion they profess to protect. They cause people like me, the believers, shame and disgrace and I wish I could take them to court for even calling themselves "Hindu/Religious" when they do not accept or understand the basic tenets of my faith.

In the same vein though I also fail to understand, equating pub hopping , drinking oneself 'silly', smoking the poison of one's choice,multiple sexual partners as Liberty or Freedom. We are a world which in the name of nationalism detroys nations and its people. We are a gender which in the name of financial independence or greed for more, I dont know which holds true either one or both, leave our babies behind.We fool oursleves by saying we do it for our self esteem. Does self esteem come so cheap or at the expense of others? This particular brand of self esteem or sense of freedom and dignity has a short shelf life...only till the much coveted job, or the hefty bank balance or the present status or designation holds good. This balloon will surely burst and with a bang. A true sense of freedom, empowerment and dignity does not depend on transitory material things. It is so much more than this.

We are a society which is confused, directionless and unhappy most of the times despite these so called giant leaps to financial, social, and moral freedom and equality for all. The most powerful and one of the richest of nations has a majority of the population eating anti depressants as if they were daily vitamin pills.We have so many non profit agencies yet majority if not all never sucessfully treat the root of the problem addressed and only further increase dependencies in the target group. What does this really say about the contorted sense of freedom, equality, justice, and the various approaches working to achieve them all...

In the end we all go searching if not running for more ...that elusive more... which we do not get, even after we have visited all the pubs, smoked , drank as much there is to drink, eaten all the wonderful things we could, owned the most desirable and sought after property/cars, travelled around in style. Been there, done that , seen it all .... when does this truly satisfy anyone amd for how long.

Till we truly understand the bigger gameplan, the way things are and the true purpose of our lives and surrender to it completely we will remain the way we are....striving to defend our nations, our freedom, our sense of justice. Its time we looked deep and protected oursleves.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Some random but angry thoughts....

The media is as bad as the politicians....During the Kargil conflict, Indian Army sources repeatedly complained to Barkha Dutt and her channel that she was giving away locations in her broadcasts, thus causing Indian casualties.
Do they learn from their mistakes NO
...
1.Hemant Karakre dies tahnks to their footage of him entering the hotel
2. DNA India reports about a UK couple ask media to report carefully:
The terrorists were watching CNN and they came down from where they were in a lift after hearing about us on TV.
— Lynne Shaw in an interview.
3.In one instance BD asks a husband about his wife being stuck, or held as a hostage. The poor guy adds in the end about where she was last hiding. Aired! thank NDTV for not censoring this bit of information.
In another instance, a General sort of suggests that there were no hostages in Oberoi Trident. (Clever.) Then, our BD calls the head of Oberoi, and the idiot confirms a possibility of 100 or more people still in the building.
Where are the ethic here.....aren't the security of the victime and the defense personnel involved of primary importance ....should the media not have sense to withold key information....and please the lame excuse that after Karkare's death TV 's were put off in the hotel....did anyone hear of SMS's or what not............


In the Enough is Enough Panel Discussion "moderated" by Barkha Dutt the panelists are Luke Kenny Kunal Kohli, Simi Grewal??????????????????????????????????????????
what is this??????????????????????????some bollywood take off on the tragedy................who wants to hear what they have to say..............

Such gems we have collected:

1. RR Patil
2. Deshmukh
3. Kerala CM who is refusing to apologize to Major Unnikrishnan's family for his deragatory remarks
4. Bharatiya Janata Party leader Mukhtar Abbas Naqvi, on Monday, came up with a gem equating people protesting against politicians as terrorists.
5.Earlier Gujarat Chief Minister Narendra Modi had offered money to the widow of slain Anti-Terrorism Squad chief Kemant Karkare whom he had branded a villain just a few days ago
6. Amar Singh doing much the same in the case Delhi Police Inspector RC Sharma.

Monday, December 1, 2008

The Indian Spirit and the Need for Action

Before I comment n the terror attack, I have to say I am shocked and grieving for the loss of human life. My prayers go out for all those who lost their lives in the Mumbai attack and may God give strength to their families and loved ones.

I will post my take on this incident but first I want to begin on a positive note and a promise to my country.

I read that Superstar Amitabh Bachchan has turned down an invitation of former US president Bill Clinton for a fund-raising event in Hong Kong, saying he is "not going to sing and dance" when the country and his city bleeds.

"I cancelled. I am not going to leave my country in this troubled hour to travel to a foreign land to lend cause to a foreign initiative, patronized and guided by a foreigner, for his benefit !! I need to see initiative here in my country," he wrote in his blog.

Cashing on this sentiment I think its high time India rose to this occassion ....asked the right questions, and is involved proactively. We blame the govt. the police etc etc etc...but do we blame ourselves for this mess?

We are equally to blame.
We elect these officials.
We choose not to vote.
When an honest officer is given transfer as a punishment we do not come together and protest.
We avoid security checks and look for ways to fool the system.
We do not demand and raise hue and cry for upgradation of the army, salaries for teachers.
Do not demand that Police be only accountable to the law and not the executive wing of Govt.

We fight about North Indians in Mumbai.
We ridicule the poorer states in India.
We squabble over language,religion, caste and regional superiority.
We celebrate malls being built on fertile agrarian lands and then lament our growing food dependency on other nations.
We do not learn from our mistakes.

But what we have going for us is:
We have a history and culture of tolerance, greatness and the ability to fight our own wars on our own terms.
We are resilient and strong and bounce back each and every time.

We will NOT say Chalta hai this time....We will stand united and strong.
We will start a revolution/kraanti of Vichaar/ thoughts, vyakti/individual and vitt/resources.
So let us do it for we CAN.

Monday, November 10, 2008

The Obama Dream

As the euphoria over the Obama victory mellows down, I am still on a slow burn. I know this historical event which I was witness to, will remain a corner of hope and inspiration, in my heart and mind for decades to come.

Why did the Obama victory have such an universal appeal? Taking my own case for starters, I am political but not have been an avid follower of the ups and downs of the Republicans and the Democrats. But the Obama victory was beyond simple politics. Or that is how I choose to interpret it. It was about possibilities. It was about really believing in your dreams and it was about dreams coming true.

Keeping aside the fact that is is being considered one of the best run election campaigns in years and the fact that the economy lead to people clamoring for a change lets look at the other side of the story. A people's journey from the shores of Africa, shackled and treated worse than animals, completely stripped of basic human rights and dignity. A life of abject poverty and misery. The 'negro' staggered along what he considered his destiny. But many amongst them refused to submit and thus started the civil rights movement. The long fight for freedom, equality and opportunity began.So many names and so many historic milestones in that long and arduous journey.

The point being that someone or some people refused to believe that some thing or anything was unattainable. They dared to dream and their dreams were backed by courage and conviction. Obama is the climax to that dream. He has a tough task ahead. But I am not here to discuss that today. I want to speak about the tears flowing freely from the eyes of civil rights activists that election night, when the results were declared. I saw redemption unfolding slowly but surely. I saw a sparkle in the eyes of the African Americans. The next morning I saw them holding their heads a little higher, and noticed a skip in their steps. And I rejoiced with them.

I imagined this is what my country must have looked like, my countrymen must have felt the same range of emotions and more on 15Th August 1947. They must have felt invincible and unstoppable. A victory over the strongest imperial nation. Freedom from centuries of foreign rule, 347 years to be exact. A nation with leaders like Gandhi who were a force to reckon with and changed history forever. Gandhi inspired freedom movement in South Africa and also the Civil Rights Movement in US of A.

Our freedom fighters left us a legacy. A legacy to believe in oneself, to dream and to go after those dreams with courage and conviction. A dream that is India united in all its diversity. A dream which hangs by a thin thread today.So what stops us? Why is it easier to blame the system, the politics, the society versus owning up to the fact that we are a part of that very system, politics and society. We have taken for granted a freedom so hard fought. We shrink everyday into our little religious, regional, caste, class linguistic and cultural groups. We fail to rise and expand beyond these compartmentalizations. We love to discuss all that is wrong over a hot cup of tea without taking onus for anything. We refuse to take action till the bullet hits home. As long as its the neighbor who took the bullet we do not feel the need to act.

We do not vote. If we vote, we vote for our relative, "jaat wala" or someone who hails from our village/town/city. We choose to ignore the fact that the man/woman we voted for with whom we share the last name will do no justice to the position we are putting him in.

I think its high time we too voted for change, voted for hope,voted for freedom, voted for our children, voted for peace and harmony, voted for a better tomorrow. Let us rise above our affiliations and vote for content and character.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

So Proud of America Today!!!

History has been made today. A triumph for America and in many ways for the world too.The Americans have risen above race and voted for Barrack Obama, an African American, as the 44th President of America.

The Americans showed today that the color of the skin was not an issue for them. I was profoundly affected by what civil rights activists had to say. Especially Civil Rights activists who fought for equal rights and thought that they would not live to see an African American run for the President's office let alone win it. The sight of Jesse Jackson crying silently, moved me, as did the look of awe, hope,and renewed faith in the eyes of so many African Americans. This emotion is not limited to the African Americans though and is shared by one and all...a belief that dreams can and do come true.

A quick observation: Loved McCain's extremely gracious speech and equally loved Obama's victory speech, which filled and I guess many others with hope,hope for a better future, a better world.

As an an Indian and more importantly a Global Citizen,it was key for me that Mr. obama made a reference to climate change, terrorism and the importance of democracy and universal peace.

Its late and I am riding high on the euphoria all around. I have to say, that I am so proud of America today. I wish Mr. Obama, and America all the best, and pray for peace and harmony for the world.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

My thoughts on the Mail

My do paisa on this:

Though I am no Sherlock Holmes I am guessing,this mail has definitely been composed by a Maharashtrian and in in all likelihood I would have agreed with this wholeheartedly if I was a domicile of the state of Maharashtra and a person who has been momentarily blinded and possessed by "Sons of the Soil" sentiment.

First of all the mail begins with a reference to the suicide of farmers in Maharashtra, which is also a common phenomenon in Karnataka and Andhra Pradesh.These farmers are cotton farmers and the reason for their suicides are government apathy, the absence of a safety net for farmers, and lack of access to information related to agriculture. The detailed report has been submitted by TISS, Mumbai, my Alma mater, as requested by Bombay High Court.

I am not investigating all the legal angles in this mail and am assuming they are true. What is interesting is that though this mail says that it is not justifying the violence, it also says and I quote, "But has there been any choice Left today ???" LOL. Sick.

I wonder if the composer of this mail ever heard of something called PIL (Public Interest Litigation?) If the law and the clauses therein are so discriminatory to one particular "Zone" why not fight it out legally, rather than beat up poor students form a poverty stricken and politically defunct state. Or is Maharshtra not a part of this country? As far as the question of bearing the burden of BIMARU states like Bihar, MP, UP, Orissa goes...what should one do? cut them off and not deal with them at all. Let the people get poorer there? Suicides in Maharshtra are terrible and death related to abject poverty in Bihar, Orissa, MP, not the problem of a person holding a Maharashtra Domicile Certificate. Or has that person owning the prized domicile forgotten that he is first an Indian and then a Maharashtrian?
(BTW Bihar/Magadh was the richest, most educationally advanced state some centuries back. Now the tables have turned and, one never knows when and how soon it will reclaim its lost glory).

College admissons and employment should happen based on merit and domicile certificate is what the mail suggests. How stupid is that? Coming from a state whose fortunes are based almost entirely on one city Mumbai and Mumbai's success based almost completely on Gujratis, The Ambanis, and Parsis, The Tatas ,who originally hail from Jamshedpur, which is in erstwhile Bihar and now a part of Jharkhand, the solution is hilarious. Or probably the author of this mail has never visited "outsider" unfriendly states like Bengal, which have hardly any big industries. Or the state of Jammu and Kashmir which is governed by the draconian Article 370 which prevents non state subject from owning land in J&K amongst other things. Well J&K is like one big ghost town , banking heavily on tourism alone. There are no businesses, industries and the young have left their hometowns to earn a livelihood.By stopping non state subjects to be a part of the infrastructure the worst affected are the state subjects themselves. Most of the Jammuites including me pray for a day when Article 370 will be removed, non state subjects be allowed in our state, new businesses, and employment generation will definitely follow.

If all the major industries and big businesses of Mumbai were sent back to their owners', state of origin , Maharashtra would be bankrupt today.Bollywood, which is such a big industry was started by the Kapoors, Hrishikesh Mukherjee, Anands,Kamal Amrohi of the yesteryears and more recently dependent on Chopras, Barjatyas, Ghais, RG Vermas, Roshans, Bachhans.

I wonder what happens to the Central and private/deemed institutions and research centers which are amongst the cream of the nation like, TISS, IIT, Bhabha Atomic Research Center, TIFR(Tata Institute of Fundamental Research).

The composer of the mail never heard of give and you will get more. My advise to you Mr. Writer...look at the bigger picture and beyond your regional loyalties. There is very little difference between you and the Ugandan dictator Idi Amin who drove away the non Ugandans from his country. At least think of all the successful and happy Maharashtrians outside their home state ..so many of them doing so well in the US and elsewhere. Are they not cheating locals of their jobs?

The last line of the mail actually makes me sick to the stomach and I quote again " Let them also be aware of the Situation that may happen to their Jobs as well". What is he trying to warn us of? There are not many jobs in Bihar, Orissa, MP etc.......lets see you fight for development, job creation, poverty eradication, in these states, which are very much a part of our country too.

"Sons of the Soil" merits an equally impassioned mail about and solely about the failed agrarian sector in Maharshtra which is pure in its Maharshtrian essence/fabric and has not been diluted or rather adulterated by the Marwaris, Gujratis, Parsis and the "Bhaiyyas". It would have actually done a lot good to the state and the Marathi Manoos.

Fight the unfairness in a law, do not challenge the nation state and threaten its unity.