When the Kashmiri separatists oppose transfer of land to the shrine board it is not considered communal. As soon as the Jammuites demand revocation of the transfer of land the problem becomes communal?
The Kashmiris from the valley fear demographical changes if the land is leased out to the shrine board. The shrine board would be setting up temporary structures for a period of 2 months in a year in an area which is remote and not really conducive for permanent settlements. In 1989 7 lakh plus Kashmiri pandits were forced to leave the valley. Will that not be counted as a change in demograpghy?
Farooq Abdullah has threatened to leave the country. Mehbooba Syed said all this is driving them towards Muzzfarabad in POK (Pakistan Occupied Kashmir). Farooq Abdullah has questioned his father Sheikh Abdullah's wisdom in acceding to India. Are these kind of statements not anti-national?
India cannot afford another partition but the voice in Kashmir is anti-India. Though it becomes even more necessary to win them over it cannot be done at the cost of the people of Jammu and Ladakh.
Some facts:
1. Area: Kashmir:15948 sq.km Jammu:26293 sq.km
2. Govt(Revenue): Kashmir:20% Jammu:75%
3. Voter: Kashmir:2288395 sq.km Jammu:3059986
4. Assembly Seats: Kashmir:46 Jammu:37
5. Lok Sabha Seats: Kashmir:3 Jammu:2
6. Cabinet Ministers: Kashmir:14 Jammu:5
7. Unemployment: Kashmir:29% Jammu:70%
Friday, August 8, 2008
Reality
Jammu and Ladakh have been paying the price for a very long time. Price for what you ask? The price to show that everything is ‘fine’ in the state. Price to reign in the separatist sentiments in the valley. To appease the Kashmiri in the valley who like a spoilt pampered child threatens to align with Pakistan every time it gets a slap on the wrist for doing something ‘naughty’, read sheltering and harboring anti India sentiments, terrorists, driving away the Kashmiri Pandits from the valley etc etc etc.
Funds, jobs, businesses, tourism, seats in academic institutions and so on and so forth have been directed towards the valley barely passing through and more or less bypassing the Jammu and Ladakh region. The Center has been a silent spectator and rather has been an active participant.
Everytime something which is in the larger national interests is done in the valley it threatens Kashmiriyat and the Muslim sentiments. It is a ploy to abuse their privileged position. In bargain the people of the Jammu and Ladakh region have had to suffer in silence. They have lost their identity and have no voice at all. This is a price for being patriotic. The strike in Jammu has entered its 40th day and the curfew its 17th day. There has been police brutality and excesses despite of which the protestors have been chanting Jai Bharat Mata ki/Indian Army Zindabad.
As opposed to this there have been pro-freedom,pro-pakistan and anti –govt. slogans in the valley. The political leaders from Kashmir like Farooq Abdullah an have said he would have to visit his father Sheikh Abdullah's grave and ask whether staying on in India after Partition had been the right decision. "A time has come when I could require a visa to visit Jammu," he said. Mehbooba's speech was no less high-pitched as she said the blockade resulting from the Jammu stir could result in the Valley "looking to the road to Muzzaffarabad (PoK)".
The highly political speeches by PDP and NC leaders, who while catering to the hardline sentiment were also competing to "represent" the Valley, only brought out the divide over the Amarnath controversy. (http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/3335455.cms)
The Muslims of Jammu Region which comprises of the following districts: Kathua, Samba, Udhampur, Reasi, Rajouri, Poonch, Doda, Ramban, and Kishtwar are supporting the agitation in Jammu. It is political mischief which is inspiring comments from Kashmiri leaders that they want to ensure protection for the Muslims in Jammu. The Muslims and Hindus in Jammu are united.
The issue is not communal. It reflects regional antagonism yes, due to lopsided and unfair governance.The Amarnath row was just a breaking point. The Jammuites want to be heard now. Enough is enough.
Funds, jobs, businesses, tourism, seats in academic institutions and so on and so forth have been directed towards the valley barely passing through and more or less bypassing the Jammu and Ladakh region. The Center has been a silent spectator and rather has been an active participant.
Everytime something which is in the larger national interests is done in the valley it threatens Kashmiriyat and the Muslim sentiments. It is a ploy to abuse their privileged position. In bargain the people of the Jammu and Ladakh region have had to suffer in silence. They have lost their identity and have no voice at all. This is a price for being patriotic. The strike in Jammu has entered its 40th day and the curfew its 17th day. There has been police brutality and excesses despite of which the protestors have been chanting Jai Bharat Mata ki/Indian Army Zindabad.
As opposed to this there have been pro-freedom,pro-pakistan and anti –govt. slogans in the valley. The political leaders from Kashmir like Farooq Abdullah an have said he would have to visit his father Sheikh Abdullah's grave and ask whether staying on in India after Partition had been the right decision. "A time has come when I could require a visa to visit Jammu," he said. Mehbooba's speech was no less high-pitched as she said the blockade resulting from the Jammu stir could result in the Valley "looking to the road to Muzzaffarabad (PoK)".
The highly political speeches by PDP and NC leaders, who while catering to the hardline sentiment were also competing to "represent" the Valley, only brought out the divide over the Amarnath controversy. (http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/3335455.cms)
The Muslims of Jammu Region which comprises of the following districts: Kathua, Samba, Udhampur, Reasi, Rajouri, Poonch, Doda, Ramban, and Kishtwar are supporting the agitation in Jammu. It is political mischief which is inspiring comments from Kashmiri leaders that they want to ensure protection for the Muslims in Jammu. The Muslims and Hindus in Jammu are united.
The issue is not communal. It reflects regional antagonism yes, due to lopsided and unfair governance.The Amarnath row was just a breaking point. The Jammuites want to be heard now. Enough is enough.
Must read article on the Jammu Issue
Following is a very important link which offers solution to the Jammu crisis. But more than offering solution they also throw light on the tone and sentiments of the people of Jammu and the people of Kashmir.
It is an article by Professor Amitabh Mattoo who is a reputed acamedician and also the Kashmiri Vice-Chancellor of Jammu University.The valley's point of view is reflected in Mirwaiz Umer Farooq's article who is also the Chairman of All Parties Hurriyat Conference.
Link to the article:
http://www.hindustantimes.com/storypage/storypage.aspx?id=49c777eb-6b1c-49c8-9db3-92eb2b54f2d4&ParentID=ad00c103-87f0-4b16-8b4b-e1d590b8afc5&MatchID1=4728&TeamID1=2&TeamID2=3&MatchType1=1&SeriesID1=1191&PrimaryID=4728&Headline=I+suggest...HT+forum
It is an article by Professor Amitabh Mattoo who is a reputed acamedician and also the Kashmiri Vice-Chancellor of Jammu University.The valley's point of view is reflected in Mirwaiz Umer Farooq's article who is also the Chairman of All Parties Hurriyat Conference.
Link to the article:
http://www.hindustantimes.com/storypage/storypage.aspx?id=49c777eb-6b1c-49c8-9db3-92eb2b54f2d4&ParentID=ad00c103-87f0-4b16-8b4b-e1d590b8afc5&MatchID1=4728&TeamID1=2&TeamID2=3&MatchType1=1&SeriesID1=1191&PrimaryID=4728&Headline=I+suggest...HT+forum
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Jammu Burning
I don't know how to and where to begin from. I just know I need to write because what we really know about the crisis in Jammu ranges from little or poor information to misinformation. This is thanks to the general ignorance about the region, the valley hogging all the attention, all the time and an irresponsible media which is not doing ample justice to the real issues at hand.
To begin with, everybody who lives in Jammu and Kashmir is not a Kashmiri.Besides Kashmiris we have Dogras, Paharis, Gujjars, Bakherwals,Kishtwaris, Ladakhis living there.Languages spoken are Dogri,Pahari,Kashmiri,Kishtwari,Urdu,Hindi,Balti and maybe many more.It is a melting pot of different cultures.
Kashmir has been known as a center of learning for Sanskrit and Persian. Ladakh is the only place in the world where Tantrayan Buddhism is practised as a way of life.Jammu the land of Dogras has been a seat of Rajas and Maharajas who have cemented and enriched the ties between these diverse groups.The Hindus and the Muslims have lived in harmony and happiness.
The Constitution of India granted Jammu and Kashmir special Autonomous area status as a temporary provision through Article 370. However, some Muslim Kashmiris demand greater autonomy and sovereignty and even demand independence from India. Many Hindus and Muslims would like to see the state fully integrated into India.
According to Wikipedia,"Jammu and Kashmir is the only Indian state that has its own flag. Designed by the Government of India, the state flag of Jammu and Kashmir is the native plough on a red background which is a symbol of labour. The three stripes represent the three administrative divisions of the state, namely Jammu, Vale of Kashmir, and Ladakh".
The backdrop of this agitation is also the step motherly treatment to the Jammu an Ladakh region in favor of the valley. Nehru wanted to have a constitutional head from Jammu to keep the Jammuites happy, but political leadership from Kashmir so all the benefits could be directed to Kashmir. But this policy has backfired miserably now. Kashmiri pandits have been driven out of the valley. The valley has fallen prey to separatist and pro Pakistan sentiments. A non domicile of the state cannot buy land in J&K. As opposed to the fact that state citizens can buy property anywhere in India. It also means that if a girl from the state marries someone from any other Indian state she loses her right to property in her home state. All the while Kashmirs who harbor anti India sentiments get son in laws from Pakistan occupied Kashmir (POK)and they in turn have the right to own property. Obviously this is another measure to drive away Hindus and Muslims who support India away from the state.
Now fast forwarding to the present situation. The Congress-Peoples Democratic Party government headed by Ghulam [Images] Nabi Azad had instructed the forest department to transfer the land to the SASB. Within days Muslims in the Kashmir valley, led and instigated by pro-Pakistani separatists, took to the streets, insisting no land should be provided for pilgrim facilities.
The All-Parties Hurriyat Conference spread three canards: First, the transfer amounted to alienation of 'Kashmiri land'; second, it would lead to intrusion of 'Hindu culture' in Muslim Kashmir; and, third, it would cause ecological damage. It needs to be duly noted here that the Amarnath yatra happens for roughly 2-3 months in a year and the shrine board wanted to construct temporary structures for the pilgrims on this land.The PDP, sensing an opportunity to revive its pro-separatist -- if not brazenly anti-India/anti-Hindu -- image in the run-up to the assembly election in Jammu & Kashmir, joined the protest and subsequently withdrew from the government. To his credit, Azad stood firm and refused to budge from his government's decision, till N N Vohra took over as governor, replacing Lieutenant General S K Sinha (retd).
Vohra, in his capacity as ex-officio chairman of the SASB, wrote a letter to Azad, returning the land and also offering to relinquish the board's task of organising the annual yatra, thus making the pilgrimage to the Amarnath shrine subordinate to the valley's Muslims �ber alle (above all) politics and Delhi's equally odious politics of Muslim appeasement.
Vohra reportedly sent his letter to Azad at 8.30 pm on June 28. "The news of that abject surrender provoked an explosion of outrage across Jammu," says a senior member of the Amarnath Yatra Sangharsh Samiti, a broad-based organisation without any political affiliation which is at the forefront of the protest.This decision was not endorsed by atleast 5 members of the board. This was a unilateral decision and it violates the SASB Act.The Governor is also in contempt of the high court which had passed an interim order approving the transfer of 800 kanals of land to the board in Baltal.
For all his efforts to appease the Muslim protesters in the Kashmir valley by 'returning' the land that had been allotted for Hindu pilgrims, Vohra was unable to save the Congress-PDP government. The PDP pulled out from the ruling alliance on June 28; on July 1, Azad, obviously under mounting pressure from his party bosses in Delhi, reversed the earlier decision.
(Ref.http://www.rediff.com/news/2008/aug/05gupta.htm)
All this has resulted in an uprising of a scale never seen before in the Jammu region. The agitation started from June 30th and is still going strong. It is not being orchestrated by any political party. The common man, woman and even children are part of this agitation. There was a simmering resentment over so many years of neglect of the Jammu region. And the usurping of the right to pray in peace, the right to freedom of choice was the final straw.
This is the 17th consecutive day of curfew in the Jammu region. This should not be seen as a communal issue. Because it is not. The Hindus and Muslims of the Jammu region have lived in harmony and this agitation enjoys the support of the Dogra Muslims and the Muslim Gujjars.In the old Jammu city, most of the businesses are run by Muslims. They have all downed their shutters in support of the Amarnath Yatra Sangarsh Samiti protest. This is truly a people's movement.
Mr.Omar Abdullah has shown his true colors by his communally colored rhetoric in the parliament. People like him, and political parties with vested interests are working hard to portray and make this problem into the age old hindu-muslim vendetta. But this is not Gujarat, Mr.Abdullah, Ms Mehbooba Syed. And I pray that the national mainstream and the world is not fooled into thinking it is.
To begin with, everybody who lives in Jammu and Kashmir is not a Kashmiri.Besides Kashmiris we have Dogras, Paharis, Gujjars, Bakherwals,Kishtwaris, Ladakhis living there.Languages spoken are Dogri,Pahari,Kashmiri,Kishtwari,Urdu,Hindi,Balti and maybe many more.It is a melting pot of different cultures.
Kashmir has been known as a center of learning for Sanskrit and Persian. Ladakh is the only place in the world where Tantrayan Buddhism is practised as a way of life.Jammu the land of Dogras has been a seat of Rajas and Maharajas who have cemented and enriched the ties between these diverse groups.The Hindus and the Muslims have lived in harmony and happiness.
The Constitution of India granted Jammu and Kashmir special Autonomous area status as a temporary provision through Article 370. However, some Muslim Kashmiris demand greater autonomy and sovereignty and even demand independence from India. Many Hindus and Muslims would like to see the state fully integrated into India.
According to Wikipedia,"Jammu and Kashmir is the only Indian state that has its own flag. Designed by the Government of India, the state flag of Jammu and Kashmir is the native plough on a red background which is a symbol of labour. The three stripes represent the three administrative divisions of the state, namely Jammu, Vale of Kashmir, and Ladakh".
The backdrop of this agitation is also the step motherly treatment to the Jammu an Ladakh region in favor of the valley. Nehru wanted to have a constitutional head from Jammu to keep the Jammuites happy, but political leadership from Kashmir so all the benefits could be directed to Kashmir. But this policy has backfired miserably now. Kashmiri pandits have been driven out of the valley. The valley has fallen prey to separatist and pro Pakistan sentiments. A non domicile of the state cannot buy land in J&K. As opposed to the fact that state citizens can buy property anywhere in India. It also means that if a girl from the state marries someone from any other Indian state she loses her right to property in her home state. All the while Kashmirs who harbor anti India sentiments get son in laws from Pakistan occupied Kashmir (POK)and they in turn have the right to own property. Obviously this is another measure to drive away Hindus and Muslims who support India away from the state.
Now fast forwarding to the present situation. The Congress-Peoples Democratic Party government headed by Ghulam [Images] Nabi Azad had instructed the forest department to transfer the land to the SASB. Within days Muslims in the Kashmir valley, led and instigated by pro-Pakistani separatists, took to the streets, insisting no land should be provided for pilgrim facilities.
The All-Parties Hurriyat Conference spread three canards: First, the transfer amounted to alienation of 'Kashmiri land'; second, it would lead to intrusion of 'Hindu culture' in Muslim Kashmir; and, third, it would cause ecological damage. It needs to be duly noted here that the Amarnath yatra happens for roughly 2-3 months in a year and the shrine board wanted to construct temporary structures for the pilgrims on this land.The PDP, sensing an opportunity to revive its pro-separatist -- if not brazenly anti-India/anti-Hindu -- image in the run-up to the assembly election in Jammu & Kashmir, joined the protest and subsequently withdrew from the government. To his credit, Azad stood firm and refused to budge from his government's decision, till N N Vohra took over as governor, replacing Lieutenant General S K Sinha (retd).
Vohra, in his capacity as ex-officio chairman of the SASB, wrote a letter to Azad, returning the land and also offering to relinquish the board's task of organising the annual yatra, thus making the pilgrimage to the Amarnath shrine subordinate to the valley's Muslims �ber alle (above all) politics and Delhi's equally odious politics of Muslim appeasement.
Vohra reportedly sent his letter to Azad at 8.30 pm on June 28. "The news of that abject surrender provoked an explosion of outrage across Jammu," says a senior member of the Amarnath Yatra Sangharsh Samiti, a broad-based organisation without any political affiliation which is at the forefront of the protest.This decision was not endorsed by atleast 5 members of the board. This was a unilateral decision and it violates the SASB Act.The Governor is also in contempt of the high court which had passed an interim order approving the transfer of 800 kanals of land to the board in Baltal.
For all his efforts to appease the Muslim protesters in the Kashmir valley by 'returning' the land that had been allotted for Hindu pilgrims, Vohra was unable to save the Congress-PDP government. The PDP pulled out from the ruling alliance on June 28; on July 1, Azad, obviously under mounting pressure from his party bosses in Delhi, reversed the earlier decision.
(Ref.http://www.rediff.com/news/2008/aug/05gupta.htm)
All this has resulted in an uprising of a scale never seen before in the Jammu region. The agitation started from June 30th and is still going strong. It is not being orchestrated by any political party. The common man, woman and even children are part of this agitation. There was a simmering resentment over so many years of neglect of the Jammu region. And the usurping of the right to pray in peace, the right to freedom of choice was the final straw.
This is the 17th consecutive day of curfew in the Jammu region. This should not be seen as a communal issue. Because it is not. The Hindus and Muslims of the Jammu region have lived in harmony and this agitation enjoys the support of the Dogra Muslims and the Muslim Gujjars.In the old Jammu city, most of the businesses are run by Muslims. They have all downed their shutters in support of the Amarnath Yatra Sangarsh Samiti protest. This is truly a people's movement.
Mr.Omar Abdullah has shown his true colors by his communally colored rhetoric in the parliament. People like him, and political parties with vested interests are working hard to portray and make this problem into the age old hindu-muslim vendetta. But this is not Gujarat, Mr.Abdullah, Ms Mehbooba Syed. And I pray that the national mainstream and the world is not fooled into thinking it is.
Friday, August 1, 2008
A Package Deal
12Th September 2004 is a very important date for me. I delivered a baby, my first, at 4:35p.m after a 21 hour long labor. 14 hours of which were without epidural. That was paisa wasool time for me. I had spent 100$ for a Lamaze class and I being the quintessential Indian had hung onto every word of the instructor and then gone home and done some more research. I was theoretically prepared. Me and hubby darling huffed and puffed and counted breaths and made enough ruckus to scare my usually stoic mother.But I have to admit I survived my jhansi ki rani act for 14hrs thanks to the very class before not so gracefully admitting defeat.I also credit my high level of pain tolerance. By the end of those looooooong 14hrs I was cursing and bellowing and had all the intent to kill those who did not heed my request. I cannot resist a post on my birthing story and will do so in future.
But my intention here is to write about the other 2 'things' that were born alongside my son that day.GUILT and WORRY. Its a package deal.I felt guilty and worried, even before my children were born but it took a different dimension with motherhood.
Actually it had begun even before conception. We decided to have children after 3 years of marital bliss. The worrying started then. I made it a project. I googled everything that had to do with 'how to conceive'. I took temperature every morning and that decided whether we were doing 'it' that night. This strategy meant we did 'it' for just a week in a month. That did not work for a couple of months. Then came Plan B. I decided we must do'it'everyday. Though my hubby was/is young and virile and found me attractive but the sight of a wife waiting for him at the door with "Do or Die" kinda mad glint in her eye was too much for the poor guy. After doing 'it' he usually found me in gravity defying positions which to my mind ensured a safe travel of his swimmers to the finish line. God took mercy on him and I was pregnant by the end of that long exhausting month.
Pregnancy was fraught with worries and guilt of all sorts. The potential damage I could have done to the fetus by not drinking milk, by drinking a cup of coffee, by watching a horror movie, by not listening to the Sundar Kaand, by driving past a sushi restaurant(what? haven't you heard of mercury in fish?)by sleeping on my back,by walking too fast,by laughing too loud,by gaining too much weight one month and by not gaining too much weight the other month, by this and by that..the list is endless.
This only worsens once you have the baby. You could be guilty of holding, bathing, burping,singing yes even singing incorrectly to the baby. Mine started crying when I first sang to him.I suffered from tremendous guilt about having a baby whose weight gain was consistently 'average'. The 'above average' rate of his height gain did not make me feel much better. The fact that I could not fight genetics also did not help. My husband and his family cannot gain weight even if they tried. My baby's father still fits into his high school pants. It makes matters worse when the mother gains weight even by gazing lovingly at a sinfully decadent chocolate cake.
I blamed myself and sometimes others blamed me, at times obviously and then again not so obviously for every major and minor hiccup in this journey. I have realized with horror that my huge over sized diaper bag is minus a tissue on a day when my son's nose refuses to stop its incessant flow. While dropping my son at school it has dawned to me he is long overdue for a nail cutting session. I have debated about taking him back home and missing school versus risking being visited by family services for negligence. I have worried about the alleged links between vaccinations and autism. I have suffered the stares of adults when my child decides to make a scene in a public place. I have been asked umpteen time when my baby refuses to stop his ear splitting, migraine inducing crying "why is he crying?" I have resisted retorting back "if you find out could you tell me" Come on moron if I knew better would I not do something and not suffer this 'I could dig a hole and bury myself' scene.
A crying baby on a plane can also be a magnet for unwanted advise. On my way from Srinagar to Jammu, I heard everything from feed her water to rub vicks on her navel???....This 'you should feed her water' bit coming from a footloose and fancy free 21 yr. old dressed to kill girl/woman. I wanted to hit her on the head with the very bottle of water I had tried forcing past my daughter's pursed lips without any success.
You worry when after 8 weeks of teaching him color recognition you stop at a red light and he screams gleefully "geen,geen" read "green,green". We almost got him evaluated for color blindness.
I feel guilty when one afternoon I decide to skip reading "The Cat in the Hat" and lie to my children about how mamma needs to read her own book because her eyes are hurting. They are still at the age where they can be taken for a ride. I know this won't last long.
I felt terrible when my son first used the word "stupid". I guiltily wondered whether he got it from the 8 yr. old girl next door or I let the word slip inadvertently while addressing his dad.
I am guilty of pretending I did not notice that my daughter had pooped in her diaper and waited for my husband to discover it. You didn't get it. He discovers the poop in the diaper so he changes the diaper.
Then there are the bigger and more important issues I worry about. How to make them a good human being. How to instill self esteem. How to make them confident, happy and compassionate people.
I still do not have all the answers. I know I will never be completely right or wrong. But the best I can do is enjoy them before they leave the nest and tell them everyday that I love them.
But my intention here is to write about the other 2 'things' that were born alongside my son that day.GUILT and WORRY. Its a package deal.I felt guilty and worried, even before my children were born but it took a different dimension with motherhood.
Actually it had begun even before conception. We decided to have children after 3 years of marital bliss. The worrying started then. I made it a project. I googled everything that had to do with 'how to conceive'. I took temperature every morning and that decided whether we were doing 'it' that night. This strategy meant we did 'it' for just a week in a month. That did not work for a couple of months. Then came Plan B. I decided we must do'it'everyday. Though my hubby was/is young and virile and found me attractive but the sight of a wife waiting for him at the door with "Do or Die" kinda mad glint in her eye was too much for the poor guy. After doing 'it' he usually found me in gravity defying positions which to my mind ensured a safe travel of his swimmers to the finish line. God took mercy on him and I was pregnant by the end of that long exhausting month.
Pregnancy was fraught with worries and guilt of all sorts. The potential damage I could have done to the fetus by not drinking milk, by drinking a cup of coffee, by watching a horror movie, by not listening to the Sundar Kaand, by driving past a sushi restaurant(what? haven't you heard of mercury in fish?)by sleeping on my back,by walking too fast,by laughing too loud,by gaining too much weight one month and by not gaining too much weight the other month, by this and by that..the list is endless.
This only worsens once you have the baby. You could be guilty of holding, bathing, burping,singing yes even singing incorrectly to the baby. Mine started crying when I first sang to him.I suffered from tremendous guilt about having a baby whose weight gain was consistently 'average'. The 'above average' rate of his height gain did not make me feel much better. The fact that I could not fight genetics also did not help. My husband and his family cannot gain weight even if they tried. My baby's father still fits into his high school pants. It makes matters worse when the mother gains weight even by gazing lovingly at a sinfully decadent chocolate cake.
I blamed myself and sometimes others blamed me, at times obviously and then again not so obviously for every major and minor hiccup in this journey. I have realized with horror that my huge over sized diaper bag is minus a tissue on a day when my son's nose refuses to stop its incessant flow. While dropping my son at school it has dawned to me he is long overdue for a nail cutting session. I have debated about taking him back home and missing school versus risking being visited by family services for negligence. I have worried about the alleged links between vaccinations and autism. I have suffered the stares of adults when my child decides to make a scene in a public place. I have been asked umpteen time when my baby refuses to stop his ear splitting, migraine inducing crying "why is he crying?" I have resisted retorting back "if you find out could you tell me" Come on moron if I knew better would I not do something and not suffer this 'I could dig a hole and bury myself' scene.
A crying baby on a plane can also be a magnet for unwanted advise. On my way from Srinagar to Jammu, I heard everything from feed her water to rub vicks on her navel???....This 'you should feed her water' bit coming from a footloose and fancy free 21 yr. old dressed to kill girl/woman. I wanted to hit her on the head with the very bottle of water I had tried forcing past my daughter's pursed lips without any success.
You worry when after 8 weeks of teaching him color recognition you stop at a red light and he screams gleefully "geen,geen" read "green,green". We almost got him evaluated for color blindness.
I feel guilty when one afternoon I decide to skip reading "The Cat in the Hat" and lie to my children about how mamma needs to read her own book because her eyes are hurting. They are still at the age where they can be taken for a ride. I know this won't last long.
I felt terrible when my son first used the word "stupid". I guiltily wondered whether he got it from the 8 yr. old girl next door or I let the word slip inadvertently while addressing his dad.
I am guilty of pretending I did not notice that my daughter had pooped in her diaper and waited for my husband to discover it. You didn't get it. He discovers the poop in the diaper so he changes the diaper.
Then there are the bigger and more important issues I worry about. How to make them a good human being. How to instill self esteem. How to make them confident, happy and compassionate people.
I still do not have all the answers. I know I will never be completely right or wrong. But the best I can do is enjoy them before they leave the nest and tell them everyday that I love them.
Friday, July 25, 2008
In Search of Stillness
Does the mind really sleep. At least mine doesn't. Or maybe rarely does. In my case since my mind is constantly talking to me, even when my mouth is not.My mouth too does it , the talking I mean , to me I mean. What I mean is I do talk to myself.Sometimes. Many times.I would think the mind would rest when I sleep. But I am someone who rarely, does not dream...I have vivid dreams almost every night which I remember in good detail the next morning. I think that is a way my mind has figured to talk to me even when I sleep.
No,no,no I do not need psychiatric evaluation. This is not at all about me hearing voices but rather about me always thinking. Initially in my early 20's I prided in the fact that I was probably one of the "thinker" types. I had some people, ...read my best friend turned lover turned husband and now also the father of my children tell me"you think too much". I scoffed at this statement and never failed to get into a purely, self serving, ego flattering discussion about how this thinking makes me a sensitive, intelligent, and passionate person. I truly believed this. A part of me is still hanging on to that belief.
But as I grow older and hopefully more mature I am beginning to understand the importance of quiet. I have to say that moments of quiet are difficult in my young household. I have 2 kids under the age of 4, a husband who takes pride in his Rajput lineage and repeats fondly the folklore about Rajputs from his village being known for their big noses and booming voices. So needless to say he dutifully honors his legacy and is never shy to use those legendary vocals. But admittedly I am no better. I am a loving mother. A mother who chose to stay back at home to look after her brood. Bui I am also a mother who is a screamer. I know its terrible. I was sure to have received hate mail after this confession but thankfully not many people read my blogs. So all this screaming around after my 2 tots has done its damage.(P.S the screaming usually accompanies a life threatening situation, it goes like this "you cannot smother your sister with a pillow" you will fall from the table and break your nose" you cannot run into a wall,"do not think of throwing anything from a moving car","don't bite your brother"........... On a normal given occasion when I speak to my husband he is like"why are you screaming?" and I am like "I am not screaming" all this while though definitely if not screaming I am what we would say very very loud.
Anyway the above is all bull. Because my constantly chattering mind is all my doing. I think I have not yet learnt the art of stillness, and being silent. I feel to quite an extent technology contributes to my problem. The phone, the television,the Internet,the audio system in my car, ipod etc etc etc. Yes and my beloved books too. Because all these make me think. I return to the conversations that have taken place. Books make me sad, angry,happy and definitely think. Music always makes me dream.Internet fires my imagination and even in the height of a balmy summer I can fly away to the pristine snow covered Austrian Alps within seconds of visiting a travel site. I always become the most loved character in a movie and relive every moment in the film. My mind and its thinking is like a car going on a highway. It takes exits and u - turns and alternate scenic routes and then joins the highway once again and takes another exit and on and on and on.....
I fool myself into thinking that if I was in a small tranquil mountain village I will achieve this much desired 'quiet'. But I know that's not true. I have to learn and master the art of disconnecting from everything and just being still and quiet.Even if for a couple of minutes. It also means distancing myself from my ego if not completely breaking away from it.I think in this stillness and being and absorbing lies the answer to understanding life and awakening to the purpose of my life.
No,no,no I do not need psychiatric evaluation. This is not at all about me hearing voices but rather about me always thinking. Initially in my early 20's I prided in the fact that I was probably one of the "thinker" types. I had some people, ...read my best friend turned lover turned husband and now also the father of my children tell me"you think too much". I scoffed at this statement and never failed to get into a purely, self serving, ego flattering discussion about how this thinking makes me a sensitive, intelligent, and passionate person. I truly believed this. A part of me is still hanging on to that belief.
But as I grow older and hopefully more mature I am beginning to understand the importance of quiet. I have to say that moments of quiet are difficult in my young household. I have 2 kids under the age of 4, a husband who takes pride in his Rajput lineage and repeats fondly the folklore about Rajputs from his village being known for their big noses and booming voices. So needless to say he dutifully honors his legacy and is never shy to use those legendary vocals. But admittedly I am no better. I am a loving mother. A mother who chose to stay back at home to look after her brood. Bui I am also a mother who is a screamer. I know its terrible. I was sure to have received hate mail after this confession but thankfully not many people read my blogs. So all this screaming around after my 2 tots has done its damage.(P.S the screaming usually accompanies a life threatening situation, it goes like this "you cannot smother your sister with a pillow" you will fall from the table and break your nose" you cannot run into a wall,"do not think of throwing anything from a moving car","don't bite your brother"........... On a normal given occasion when I speak to my husband he is like"why are you screaming?" and I am like "I am not screaming" all this while though definitely if not screaming I am what we would say very very loud.
Anyway the above is all bull. Because my constantly chattering mind is all my doing. I think I have not yet learnt the art of stillness, and being silent. I feel to quite an extent technology contributes to my problem. The phone, the television,the Internet,the audio system in my car, ipod etc etc etc. Yes and my beloved books too. Because all these make me think. I return to the conversations that have taken place. Books make me sad, angry,happy and definitely think. Music always makes me dream.Internet fires my imagination and even in the height of a balmy summer I can fly away to the pristine snow covered Austrian Alps within seconds of visiting a travel site. I always become the most loved character in a movie and relive every moment in the film. My mind and its thinking is like a car going on a highway. It takes exits and u - turns and alternate scenic routes and then joins the highway once again and takes another exit and on and on and on.....
I fool myself into thinking that if I was in a small tranquil mountain village I will achieve this much desired 'quiet'. But I know that's not true. I have to learn and master the art of disconnecting from everything and just being still and quiet.Even if for a couple of minutes. It also means distancing myself from my ego if not completely breaking away from it.I think in this stillness and being and absorbing lies the answer to understanding life and awakening to the purpose of my life.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
The Underbelly Part 5: Best Practices
Ruchira’s Speech Continued……….
The first need of the victims of trafficking is visibility. They want the state to recognize them as citizens of the state, their exploitation a crime and provide them protection.
Their second demand is that of relief.They want immediate relief from violence,severe trauma, and exploitation. They want both the process of human trafficking to be tackled as well as its outcomes, which include prostitution, domestic servitude, early marriage, child labour, bonded labour, organ trade, cheap labour, and pornography.
A range of comprehensive interventions from prevention, to protection to prosecution is an effective response to countering trafficking. Trafficking is not always about movement of forced or deceived people across borders. It is also about those whose vulnerability is abused to trap them into situations of exploitation in brothels, sweatshops, and farms, sometimes in the very places where they were born. They want protection programmes in the very communities that they are born in.
Those targeted for commercial sexual exploitation and cheap labour share key characteristics: poverty, youth, minority status in the country of exploitation, histories of abuse, and little family support. They want comprehensive protection programmes that address their vulnerabilities. They want legal protection tied in with viable economic options and the notion of rehabilitation to extend to community empowerment as well as individual empowerment. They want protection packages that will expand their livelihood options.
Trafficked women may be freed from their employers in police raids, but they are given no access to services or redress and instead face further mistreatment at the hands of authorities. Even when confronted with clear evidence of trafficking, officials focus on violations of their immigration regulations and anti-prostitution laws, rather than on violations of the trafficking victims' human rights. Thus those women who are trafficked across borders are targeted as undocumented migrants and/or prostitutes, and the traffickers either escape entirely, or else face minor penalties. By making the victims of trafficking the target of law enforcement efforts, governments only exacerbate victims' vulnerability to abuse and deter them from turning to law enforcement officials for assistance. By allowing traffickers to engage in slavery-like practices without penalty, governments allow the abuses to continue with impunity.
That is why the third demand of victims and survivors of trafficking is accountability. They want those responsible for trafficking to be punished and stopped. They want interventions to focus on the responsibility of those who buy trafficked people such as buyers of prostituted sex and those “entrepreneurs” (traffickers, procurers, pimps, brothel owners, and managers, owners of plantations and factories and money lenders) who make a profit off trading in women and girls, boys and men.
So far a large number of trafficking interventions have focused on the victim through rescue and post rescue care. While this has provided much-needed relief to victims and survivors, it has not made a dent in the trafficking industry. According to a study by the National Human Rights Commission of India, most traffickers state that they identify the demand areas before indulging in trafficking to ensure ‘prompt delivery.
Demand for trafficked people –from end-users to those who make a profit of the trade has become the most immediate cause for the expansion of the trafficking industry. Providing services and instituting preventive mechanisms among those at risk to trafficking has provided protection to pockets of vulnerable people but not detracted the traffickers. According to the same National Human Rights Commission Study 82.5% of traffickers stated that they supply women/ children to brothels on demand- from underage girls to fair-skinned women. When increased vigilance and new laws prevented traffickers from sourcing women and children from Nepal to Mumbai and Kolkata, they simply shifted their area of operations to Bihar, West Bengal, the hill states of the northeast and Jharkhand in India because a demand for trafficked women and children continued to exist.
An increase in convictions against traffickers and buyers will serve to make this trade untenable. Countries have to strengthen their law-enforcement response to trafficking and work across borders to tackle the organized nature of the crime bringing traffickers to book, confiscating the illegal assets created out of trafficking, making the traffickers compensate for the damages and penalizing them. All act as a deterrent to traffickers and buyers and restores a sense of justice to the survivor. Very often traffickers commit the crime in one country and jump across the border and have a bank account or residential status in another country.
Countries and UN agencies can work together to investigate and prosecute these traffickers across countries. The UN protocol has already laid out guidelines for this. While there is increased cooperation for the repatriation of victims of trafficking, we need more cooperating and collaboration between law-enforcement agencies to investigate, arrest and prosecute traffickers ad those who buy trafficked people.If the numbers of convictions go up, the costs of operations of human trafficking will become untenable and the business models of traffickers will be disrupted. This will be the best way of countering trafficking.
Addressing the demand for human trafficking, use of the law and its full implementation can only be done by states individually and in collaboration bi-laterally and multilaterally. It is urgent that the UN and its members take the leadership on this. Article 9, paragraph 5, of the UN protocol to Prevent, Suppress and Punish Trafficking in Persons, Especially Women and Children states that: “State Parties shall adopt or strengthen legislative or other measures, such as educational, social or cultural measues to including through bilateral or multi-lateral cooperation, to discourage the demand that fosters all forms of exploitation of persons, especially women and children that leads to trafficking.” We urge governments to enact domestic legislation that incorporates the standards outlined above.
An example is the Swedish government legislation passed and implemented in 1999 that stepped up measures against prostitution not only by directing strong penalties against pimps, brothel owners, and other sex industry entrepreneurs but by also directing criminal sanctions against customers. (The law also eliminated penalties against prostitutes, such as the penalty for soliciting.) After the passage of the new law, Sweden spearheaded public education campaign warning sex industry customers that patronizing prostitutes was criminal behavior. The result was unexpected. Sex trafficking to Sweden has declined. The danger of prosecution coupled with a diminished demand made Sweden an unpromising market for global sex traffickers. Based on the success of the Swedish model, country after country is following Sweden’s example-Norway, Korea, Lithuania, and New York State.
India is a signatory to the protocol and is in the process of amending its anti-trafficking law to penalize buyers of trafficked people and severely punish traffickers.
The first need of the victims of trafficking is visibility. They want the state to recognize them as citizens of the state, their exploitation a crime and provide them protection.
Their second demand is that of relief.They want immediate relief from violence,severe trauma, and exploitation. They want both the process of human trafficking to be tackled as well as its outcomes, which include prostitution, domestic servitude, early marriage, child labour, bonded labour, organ trade, cheap labour, and pornography.
A range of comprehensive interventions from prevention, to protection to prosecution is an effective response to countering trafficking. Trafficking is not always about movement of forced or deceived people across borders. It is also about those whose vulnerability is abused to trap them into situations of exploitation in brothels, sweatshops, and farms, sometimes in the very places where they were born. They want protection programmes in the very communities that they are born in.
Those targeted for commercial sexual exploitation and cheap labour share key characteristics: poverty, youth, minority status in the country of exploitation, histories of abuse, and little family support. They want comprehensive protection programmes that address their vulnerabilities. They want legal protection tied in with viable economic options and the notion of rehabilitation to extend to community empowerment as well as individual empowerment. They want protection packages that will expand their livelihood options.
Trafficked women may be freed from their employers in police raids, but they are given no access to services or redress and instead face further mistreatment at the hands of authorities. Even when confronted with clear evidence of trafficking, officials focus on violations of their immigration regulations and anti-prostitution laws, rather than on violations of the trafficking victims' human rights. Thus those women who are trafficked across borders are targeted as undocumented migrants and/or prostitutes, and the traffickers either escape entirely, or else face minor penalties. By making the victims of trafficking the target of law enforcement efforts, governments only exacerbate victims' vulnerability to abuse and deter them from turning to law enforcement officials for assistance. By allowing traffickers to engage in slavery-like practices without penalty, governments allow the abuses to continue with impunity.
That is why the third demand of victims and survivors of trafficking is accountability. They want those responsible for trafficking to be punished and stopped. They want interventions to focus on the responsibility of those who buy trafficked people such as buyers of prostituted sex and those “entrepreneurs” (traffickers, procurers, pimps, brothel owners, and managers, owners of plantations and factories and money lenders) who make a profit off trading in women and girls, boys and men.
So far a large number of trafficking interventions have focused on the victim through rescue and post rescue care. While this has provided much-needed relief to victims and survivors, it has not made a dent in the trafficking industry. According to a study by the National Human Rights Commission of India, most traffickers state that they identify the demand areas before indulging in trafficking to ensure ‘prompt delivery.
Demand for trafficked people –from end-users to those who make a profit of the trade has become the most immediate cause for the expansion of the trafficking industry. Providing services and instituting preventive mechanisms among those at risk to trafficking has provided protection to pockets of vulnerable people but not detracted the traffickers. According to the same National Human Rights Commission Study 82.5% of traffickers stated that they supply women/ children to brothels on demand- from underage girls to fair-skinned women. When increased vigilance and new laws prevented traffickers from sourcing women and children from Nepal to Mumbai and Kolkata, they simply shifted their area of operations to Bihar, West Bengal, the hill states of the northeast and Jharkhand in India because a demand for trafficked women and children continued to exist.
An increase in convictions against traffickers and buyers will serve to make this trade untenable. Countries have to strengthen their law-enforcement response to trafficking and work across borders to tackle the organized nature of the crime bringing traffickers to book, confiscating the illegal assets created out of trafficking, making the traffickers compensate for the damages and penalizing them. All act as a deterrent to traffickers and buyers and restores a sense of justice to the survivor. Very often traffickers commit the crime in one country and jump across the border and have a bank account or residential status in another country.
Countries and UN agencies can work together to investigate and prosecute these traffickers across countries. The UN protocol has already laid out guidelines for this. While there is increased cooperation for the repatriation of victims of trafficking, we need more cooperating and collaboration between law-enforcement agencies to investigate, arrest and prosecute traffickers ad those who buy trafficked people.If the numbers of convictions go up, the costs of operations of human trafficking will become untenable and the business models of traffickers will be disrupted. This will be the best way of countering trafficking.
Addressing the demand for human trafficking, use of the law and its full implementation can only be done by states individually and in collaboration bi-laterally and multilaterally. It is urgent that the UN and its members take the leadership on this. Article 9, paragraph 5, of the UN protocol to Prevent, Suppress and Punish Trafficking in Persons, Especially Women and Children states that: “State Parties shall adopt or strengthen legislative or other measures, such as educational, social or cultural measues to including through bilateral or multi-lateral cooperation, to discourage the demand that fosters all forms of exploitation of persons, especially women and children that leads to trafficking.” We urge governments to enact domestic legislation that incorporates the standards outlined above.
An example is the Swedish government legislation passed and implemented in 1999 that stepped up measures against prostitution not only by directing strong penalties against pimps, brothel owners, and other sex industry entrepreneurs but by also directing criminal sanctions against customers. (The law also eliminated penalties against prostitutes, such as the penalty for soliciting.) After the passage of the new law, Sweden spearheaded public education campaign warning sex industry customers that patronizing prostitutes was criminal behavior. The result was unexpected. Sex trafficking to Sweden has declined. The danger of prosecution coupled with a diminished demand made Sweden an unpromising market for global sex traffickers. Based on the success of the Swedish model, country after country is following Sweden’s example-Norway, Korea, Lithuania, and New York State.
India is a signatory to the protocol and is in the process of amending its anti-trafficking law to penalize buyers of trafficked people and severely punish traffickers.
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